Your instinct might be to protect your heart and keep your guard high, but you can’t stay closed off forever.
Once you let someone into your world, once you make a commitment to them, you can’t keep dodging conversations and keeping secrets. You’re allowed to move at your own pace, but you need to slowly start letting your person into your private world. You don’t want to push them away on accident. You don’t want to hurt them in the process of trying to protect yourself.
When you love someone, you should allow yourself to act vulnerable around them. You shouldn’t feel like you have to censor yourself in order to impress them. You shouldn’t walk on eggshells because you’re worried about chasing them away.
Showing your real, raw, authentic self is part of being in a healthy relationship. If you pick and choose which pieces of yourself to show your partner, then you’re never going to last. You’re never going to be fully happy. You’re going to feel like your partner only likes the ‘perfect’ version of you because you’ve been putting on an act for them. You’ve been refusing to show them the truth about yourself.
If you want your relationship to last forever, you should open up to your partner about whatever is running through your mind. If they’re the right person for you, then they aren’t going to judge you. They aren’t going to walk away from you. They are going to be there for you, no matter what. They are going to help you process your feelings and let you cry on their shoulder. They are going to make it easier for you to cope with whatever you’re experiencing, not harder.
On the other hand, if you end up opening up to them and they don’t react in a way you consider appropriate, then at least you’ve learned something. You’ve learned they aren’t the person meant for you. You’ve learned that it’s time for you to move on. You’ve learned that you deserve so much better.
Remember, you shouldn’t be pretending in front of your forever person. You shouldn’t be keeping secrets or hiding important pieces of yourself because you’re worried about what they will think of you. If you trust your person to treat you right, then you need to open up to them. You need to set aside your fears and lower your guard for a change.
You don’t have to blurt out everything right away. You can take your time. You can move at a pace that makes you feel comfortable. But you shouldn’t get used to keeping them in the dark. You shouldn’t feel the need to hide things from the person you are supposed to trust more than anyone in this world.
Showing someone else your vulnerable side is never easy — but it’s something you’ll want to do once you find the right person. You’ll want them to see every single side of you. You’ll want them to know you completely.