When you chase after a guy you know is a bad idea, you try not to get too attached. You try not to get used to the thought of him sticking around. Sure, you might let yourself get excited when he sends a cute text or invites you over to his apartment, but you won’t let yourself wish for more than that. You won’t let yourself think too far into the future, because there’s no telling how much longer he’s going to be in your life.
You don’t want to get your hopes up for no reason. You don’t want to look further into this relationship than you should because this is meant to be fun right now. It’s meant to be carefree and innocent. You know he is only a temporary form of happiness, but you keep telling yourself that is enough. You keep telling yourself you don’t want anything deeper than that anyway.
When you chase after a guy you know is a bad idea, you lie about what he means to you. You even lie to yourself. You convince yourself your feelings aren’t that serious. You pretend it wouldn’t make a difference if he walked away from you tomorrow. You act like you care as much as he seems to care — which isn’t much.
When you chase after a guy you know is a bad idea, you’re always trying to defend your own actions to yourself. You tell yourself it’s okay if you text him or meet up with him or kiss him because it’s harmless. No big deal. Whenever the alarm bells go off in your head, you remind yourself you aren’t doing anything wrong. You constantly make excuses because deep down you know he isn’t the right one for you. You know everything is going to crash and burn eventually. You know this relationship is far from perfect.
When you chase after a guy you know is a bad idea, you aren’t surprised when it all falls apart. You knew it was coming. You knew it was only a matter of time until your heart was broken. You prepared yourself for this moment. But for some reason, it still hurts like hell.
Logically, you know this was for the best. Your head is okay with him walking away because you’re better off without him. You deserve so much more. But your heart is a different story. Even though you could see the heartbreak coming from a mile away, even though everyone warned you about what you were getting into, even though you prepared yourself for everything to go wrong in the end, your heart still wasn’t ready for it. It still hurts. It’s still hard to get over.
When you chase after a guy you know is a bad idea, you might think that you know exactly what you’re doing, you might think you can handle your heart, but you might be wrong. You might be setting yourself up for a whole lot of heartbreak.