If you’re looking for a serious relationship, be honest about it from the beginning. You might worry you’re going to chase away certain people — but really, you’re weeding out people who wouldn’t have worked out with you anyway. These people would have ended up breaking your heart. You would have ended up spending months, maybe even years, trying to convince them to settle down and they would have resisted.
If they aren’t on the same page as you from the start, then you don’t need to waste any more of your energy on them. It will save you trouble in the long-run.
Similarly, if you’re unhappy with the way someone is treating you, be honest about it from the moment the behavior begins. Let them know what makes you uncomfortable. Let them know what you aren’t willing to stand for in a relationship. They can either alter their actions in order to make a relationship with you work or they can decide they aren’t willing to make that type of sacrifice and you can go off on your own again.
There’s no sense in sticking around, hoping someone is going to change, without even letting them know what’s been bothering you. If they’re doing something you consider a dealbreaker, it’s best to be upfront about it as early as possible. Be polite about it — but be straightforward about it.
Never assume they must know what’s on your mind. Never expect them to guess what you want from them.
If you’re wondering what the hell is going through the other person’s mind, be honest about it. You don’t have to spend hours trying to decipher mixed signals. You don’t have to send screenshots of their messages to all of your friends, trying to figure out what a certain text meant.
You can simply ask the question that’s been bugging you. You can be blunt. There’s nothing stopping you from sending a straightforward text or sitting them down for a mature, adult conversation.
You can stop holding yourself back, stop playing by an imaginary set of dating rules, and ask for clarification when it’s needed.
It’s not rude to ask them where they see the relationship going, or whether they’re interested in anything serious, or whether they’re ready to put a label on what you’ve been doing together. You’re allowed to have questions and you’re allowed to ask them. In fact, that’s part of being in a healthy relationship. Communication is key.
You shouldn’t be holding yourself back, limiting how much you reveal to them, trying to come across as if you’re the one who cares less. If the person wants you to do those things, they’re probably not ready for a commitment. They’re probably not on the same page as you are.
The right person is going to find your transparency refreshing. The right person is going to be relieved you aren’t playing mind games and sending mixed signals of your own. The right person is going to admire your honesty — and they are going to be honest, too.