1. He isn’t treating you great right now. You shouldn’t stay with someone in the hopes they’re going to change their behavior, in the hopes they are going to rise to your standards, in the hopes they aren’t going to act anything like the way they have been acting lately. If someone isn’t treating you right, then you should walk away, because a future with them won’t be all that different than your present with them. They aren’t magically going to turn into a different human if you stick around for long enough. Giving them one or two chances might make sense — but giving three or four or ten or twenty is only asking for heartbreak.
2. You have drastically different visions for the future. You want such different things that coming to a compromise simply isn’t possible. No matter what you decide, one of you would end up unhappy. One of you would end up resenting the other person. And that’s not a risk you want to take, not even for love. That might be hard to process, but you need to remember that some people who love each other aren’t meant to be with each other. Some people who love each other need to let each other go so they both can grow.
3. You don’t even talk about the future. You haven’t discussed where your relationship is headed. You haven’t figured out where you plan on living or how many children you want or whether marriage is something you’re interested in pursuing. You haven’t ironed out any details with each other because you’re only focused on living in the moment. While enjoying the now can be nice for a while, if you’re planning on staying together, you have to make sure you’re on the same page. You have to have some serious conversations to make sure you’re not thinking wildly different thoughts. The truth is, if neither of you are thinking about tomorrow, maybe that’s because you don’t see yourselves staying together tomorrow.
4. Your relationship hasn’t grown as you both have grown. You’re not going to be the same exact person a year from now as you were last year. People change — and your relationship should change. You should learn together. You should evolve together. If you’re still having the same exact fights now as you did at the start of your relationship, something is wrong. You should have moved past that point by now.
5. Your relationship doesn’t bring you happiness. You’re not always going to feel butterflies in a long-term relationship. You’re not always going to stick at the puppy love stage. But your person should bring you more joy than stress. They should bring you more excitement than disappointment. If they’ve stopped being a source of happiness for you, their place in your world might not be permanent.
6. You don’t want the same things you wanted when you started dating. And that’s perfectly okay. It’s okay to change your mind. It’s okay to end a relationship. It’s okay if this person isn’t your forever. It doesn’t make them any less important to you.