If you don’t put effort into your relationship, your person isn’t going to understand how much they mean to you. They are going to start questioning whether you care about them as much as they care about you. They are going to feel neglected. They are going to feel unappreciated. They are going to feel like you are looking past their value, like you are taking them for granted, like you are sapping them dry without giving them anything in return.
If you don’t put effort into your relationship, you’re going to lose something great. You’re going to let it slip out of your hands. You’re going to stand by while it all falls apart.
Of course, the same rules apply for your person. Without effort on both ends, your relationship isn’t going to last. You shouldn’t be the only one giving and you shouldn’t be the only one taking. There should be a balance. There should be a sense of equality. There should be teamwork at play.
Don’t think you can save the relationship by overcompensating for the lack of effort your person has been putting in — and don’t think you can get away without putting in your own effort either. Relationships are a two-way street. You both need to contribute. You both need to exert yourselves. You both need to express how much you care.
One-sided relationships aren’t healthy relationships. One-sided relationships are destined to self-destruct.
If your person doesn’t put effort into your relationship, then it’s only a matter of time before they become a source of resentment. Before they stop making you happy and start making you stressed. Before you end up drained and feel like you have nothing left to give because they’ve already taken everything from you — without so much as a thank you.
If your person doesn’t put effort into your relationship, then you’re either going to overextend yourself, forcing yourself to fight tooth and nail to make sure the relationship survives. Or you’re going to say screw this and stop trying because you realize you shouldn’t be the only one handling the work. Either way, it’s not going to end well. Your relationship is going to make you miserable. Insecure. Confused. Unsatisfied.
You should never settle for someone who refuses to rise to your expectations. Someone who is unable to match your efforts. Someone who feels like they deserve all of your love and affection without needing to dole out any of their own.
And you shouldn’t get into a relationship if you’re the person who isn’t in the mood to put in any effort. You shouldn’t allow someone to bend over backwards for you, to wring themselves dry for you, without offering them anything in return. You shouldn’t take advantage of their kindness and test how long they let you get away with it.
Without effort, your relationship is going to fall apart, so make sure you’re playing your part. And make sure you aren’t settling for someone who refuses to do theirs.