Toxic humans are clingy. Once they find someone they feel they can manipulate, someone who will excuse their behaviors and see the best in them, they won’t want to let go. They will want to stay with you forever — even if their behavior says otherwise. Even if they’ve been lying and cheating and making you feel horrible about yourself.
They will disrespect you and neglect you until the moment it looks like you might walk away. Then, all of a sudden, they will remind you how much they care. They will plead for you to stay. They will put their charm — or their tears — back on.
From your side, it might seem like they’re fighting for the relationship because they love you so much, because they cannot picture a world without you — and while that might partially be true, they never would have treated you so poorly if they respected you, if they valued you, if they had the same kind of love for you as you have for them.
They aren’t begging you to stay so they can prove to you they’ve changed. They’re begging you to stay because they like things exactly the way they are — at least, the way things were before you started getting angry with them, before you started raising your standards, before you expected them to treat you with actual kindness and respect.
Toxic humans will try to latch onto you for as long as possible because once you let them get away with one thing, they think they can get away with anything. They think they can control you. They think they have complete power over you.
But they’re wrong. You can walk away at any moment. You can distance yourself from their toxicity at any time.
Yes, it’s going to hurt at first, but in the long-run it’s going to be best for you. It’s going to give you a chance to rediscover your confidence, your sanity, your sense of self. It’s going to be worth it someday soon.
Unfortunately, even once you separate yourself from a toxic person completely, once you remove them from your world entirely, you are still going to be haunted by them. You might feel like you’ve gotten closure, like you’ve put the past in the past, but every once in a while old memories will float to the surface and make you feel like crap again. Every once in a while, your strength is going to waver and you’re going to wonder whether you’ve actually made any progress at all.
It’s going to be hard to get rid of the insecurities they’ve given you, the way they’ve warped your heart, but every single day it will get easier. Every single day, you will be one step closer to the person you’ve always wanted to be.
Toxic humans are never going to stop haunting you. The things they’ve said and done are going to be stuck in your mind forever — but you don’t have to keep them in your world forever. Your horrible memories with them can stop now. You can walk away today. You can end the cycle permanently.