You Don’t Need Your Life 100% Together Before You Start Dating

You Don’t Actually Need Your Shit Together Before You Start Dating

It’s a good idea to stay single when you want to focus on yourself, get to know yourself, learn to love yourself. But you shouldn’t swear off from relationships, simply because you feel lost and broken inside. You don’t actually need your shit together before you enter a new relationship. You don’t need to play the role of some perfect, flawless human in order to convince someone to fall for you.

No matter how much work you put into bettering yourself, you’re always going to feel like there’s more work to do, but your weaknesses don’t make you unlovable. If anything, the fact that you’re willing to put effort into self-growth makes you the perfect partner.

Part of a strong, committed relationship is growing together. Figuring out your futures together. Helping each other become better versions of yourself through encouragement, motivation, and unconditional support.

When you find the right person for you, they aren’t going to care about the things you consider flaws. They’re going to love you without restrictions, without ultimatums, without buts.

The right person isn’t going to pressure you to change yourself, but if there’s something you have your heart set on changing, then they are going to be there for you every step of the way. They’re going to cheer you on, because if something is important to you, it’s important to them.

You don’t have to wait until you feel like you have your shit together to start dating, because you’re going to be waiting a long time. There’s always something you can improve, something you wish you were doing more, something you wish you were doing less. You have to remember, just because there are things you wish you could change about yourself, that doesn’t mean others wish you would change. The right person will love who you are today and who you become tomorrow. They will love every version of you.

If you need some time alone to heal after a toxic relationship or to work on your career goals or learn to love yourself properly, then stay single. You don’t need a relationship in order to feel fulfilled. You don’t need a partner to walk you through the world.

But if you’re purposely keeping your heart locked away because you’re worried you aren’t put together enough to handle a relationship, then you need to reframe your thinking.

You don’t actually need your shit together before you enter a relationship. No one, not even the people you admire most in this world, feels like they have their shit 100% together. As long as you’re in a place where you can give love and accept love (and respect), then you’re exactly where you need to be. You don’t need to fix every flaw before you step on the dating scene. You don’t need to break every bad habit in order to consider yourself lovable.

You’re a work in progress, but guess what? So is everyone else you’re going to meet. So if you find someone worth dating, don’t hold yourself back out of fear you won’t be enough. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Holly is the author of Severe(d): A Creepy Poetry Collection.

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