Please, don’t keep forgiving him when he’s been making the same exact mistake over and over again. As much as you’re hoping in your heart he will change, it isn’t going to happen if you’ve been in this same position before. Stop saying to yourself, “He loves me. He’ll change for me.” And start saying to yourself, “He loves me, and yet he still hurt me. He’s the kind of person who can hurt the people he loves the most. That’s not someone I can trust.”

Please, don’t keep getting back together with him when the relationship has run its course. Don’t trick yourself into feeling like a hero for sacrificing your happiness in order to make this relationship work. There comes a time when you need to stop fighting for him and need to start accepting he isn’t meant to be yours. Accept he isn’t the person you thought he was when you first fell in love. Accept he is never going to live up to the potential you saw within him. Accept you deserve so much better than what you’ve been settling for lately.

Please, don’t keep accepting empty apologies. Don’t assume his teary eyes are a sign he’s never going to hurt you again. Don’t assume his promises about changing are authentic. If he’s made a habit out of hurting you, and you’ve made a habit out of forgiving him, then why would he change? He’s been getting away with everything, so he’s going to continue to make the wrong choices. But you don’t have to continue to stay. You can leave. You can put an end to this cycle of heartache today.

Please, don’t keep worrying yourself with the worst case scenarios. Don’t convince yourself he’s your only chance at love. Don’t assume no one else is going to love you like he loves you. Don’t assume the way you feel about the next guy is never going to compare to the way you feel about him. Right now, you can’t imagine being with anyone else (or being on your own) because you’re drowning in your feelings for him — but love should make it easier to breathe, not harder.

Please, raise your standards. Raise your expectations. Raise your confidence. Remind yourself you aren’t supposed to be put through so much pain in the name of love. You aren’t supposed to feel this stressed out whenever your person walks into the room. You aren’t supposed to have this many doubts about whether they really love you or whether everything they say is a lie.

Please, push away the guilt you feel about walking away from him the same way he pushed away the guilt he should’ve felt over hurting you. Please, don’t feel like a horrible person for doing the best thing for yourself. Please, put more emphasis on taking care of your mental health in the future and less emphasis on pleasing other people. Please, don’t keep getting back together with someone toxic when you deserve more.