Why You Should Never Actually 'Date To Marry'

Why You Should Never Actually ‘Date To Marry’

When you enter a new relationship, you should be upfront about your expectations. You should let your person know you’re getting ready to settle down and don’t want to play games anymore. You should make sure you’re on the same page about your futures because if you aren’t looking for the same type of things, the relationship clearly isn’t going to work out.

At the end of the day, it’s perfectly fine if you’re hoping your next relationship ends with wedding bells. There’s nothing wrong with knowing what you want from another person. However, you can end up in a toxic situation pretty quickly if you decide the only reason you’re dating is to marry.

If you’re dating to marry, that means you’re either going to succeed or you’re going to fail. That means you’re going to be disappointed every single time a relationship doesn’t end up working out. That means you’re going to feel like you completely wasted your time when someone leaves your life, even if they were only meant to be there for a temporary amount of time.

It’s natural to be disappointed when someone you considered spending the rest of your life alongside leaves. But if you end up breaking up with the wrong person for you, you shouldn’t consider the experience a failure. You should consider it a success because you didn’t decide to settle. You didn’t force the relationship to work because you were scared of ending up alone again. You didn’t stay with someone who was wrong for you.

If you’re only dating to marry, then you might accidentally end up putting too much emphasis on marriage. You might be so desperate to reach that milestone that you overlook red flags, that you pretend you’re feeling things you aren’t feeling, that you stay with someone who isn’t meant for you.

If you’re only dating to marry, it’s easy to lose focus on the present moment because you’re so preoccupied with what might happen in the future. Unfortunately, not all relationships are going to work out. Some loves are meant to be short-term. They’re meant to teach you more about love, about relationships, and about yourself. However, if your only interest is marriage, then you’re not going to enjoy the journey. You’re not going to get a good experience out of any of your relationships unless they end up being the one.

If you’re only dating to marry, you might end up rushing even your greatest relationships. You might skip crucial steps. You might miss out on intimate moments as a new couple. You might be so eager to move in together and get engaged and plan a wedding that you forget to enjoy the puppy love stage.

It’s perfectly fine if you’re only going to date people who you have the potential to marry, people who are serious about settling down soon, people who aren’t going to screw around with your heart. But make sure that you don’t put too much emphasis on marriage. Make sure you’re more concerned with finding someone who fits you perfectly than finding someone who is willing to stand at the end of the aisle. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Holly Riordan

Holly is the author of Severe(d): A Creepy Poetry Collection.