She’s not clingy for texting you first. She’s not clingy for asking to hang out with you on weekends. She’s not clingy for expecting you to make a serious commitment to her after months of flirting instead of watching you continuously play the field.
Stop calling her clingy when she hasn’t done anything wrong. Stop acting like she’s suffocating you when all she’s done is try to be there for you, to support you, to be a good friend.
If you don’t want a relationship with her, that’s fine. You don’t have to date her. You don’t have to turn your relationship into something serious. But if you aren’t interested in the same things she wants, you shouldn’t turn the situation around on her to make her feel like the bad guy. You shouldn’t accuse her of being too clingy and convince her it’s her own fault that you don’t want anything to do with her.
You have to be honest with her. You have to let her know you aren’t ready for the type of commitment that she wants. You have to let her know that you are on two completely different pages and need to rethink the way you communicate with each other – or stop communicating with each other completely.
Whatever you do, don’t accuse her of being clingy when all she’s done is be blunt about her feelings. Don’t act like there’s something wrong with her wearing her heart on her sleeve. Don’t act like she’s done something unforgivable, when really, all she’s done is cared about you.
If you accuse her of being clingy when she’s not, then she’s going to think of her vulnerability as a bad thing. She’s never going to want to open up to someone again. She’s going to put up walls and second guess every move she makes in the future, even once she’s moved onto someone new.
There are so many people in the world of modern dating who send mixed signals, who make you guess what’s on their mind, who are afraid of admitting their real feelings. Someone like her, who wears her heart on her sleeve, is rare to find. You don’t want to make her think she needs to hide her heart from the world. You don’t want to make her think she’s showing her cards too early.
There’s a difference between being clingy and caring about you enough to put effort into you. She’s not clingy for sending you good morning messages. She’s not clingy for asking you how you spent your weekends. She’s not clingy for giving a shit about you. If you don’t want to date her, then you should let her know so she doesn’t continue to chase after you, so neither of you waste your time.
The best thing you can do is be honest with her. The worst thing you can do is try to make her feel bad about how much he cares, about trying to be around when you need her, about being vulnerable when it comes to her feelings.