I get my feelings hurt too easily. I take rejections too hard. I don’t know how to walk away from a broken heart. I spend too much time moping in my misery. I spend too much time dwelling on people who aren’t supposed to matter to me.
I’m too sensitive for modern dating. Every time someone ghosts me, they get inside my head. I know I’m supposed to shrug things off. I know getting ghosted means that we weren’t meant to be together, that they didn’t feel any sparks, that they weren’t interested in seeing me again. The message is obvious, so I should be able to move on. After all, not everyone is going to like me. Not everyone is going to fall head over heels. My head realizes that — but my heart has trouble grasping the concept. It has trouble dealing with rejection, even on the smallest scale.
I have a hard enough time dealing with unanswered text messages. Knowing someone else has (most likely) seen my message but hasn’t responded to me yet puts me on edge. It makes me wonder whether they’re playing hard to get or whether they aren’t interested in talking to me anymore or whether they only want me around on their terms, when it’s convenient for them, when I can give them something they need.
I think too much. And I feel too much. It’s the absolute worst combination in the world of modern dating.
If a first date goes poorly, I’m going to be upset about it for weeks. If someone leads me on and then starts dating someone else, I’m going to be upset about it for months. If someone promises me forever and then goes back on that promise, I’m going to be upset about it for years. I don’t get over my heartbreaks easily. It takes me a long time to heal, a long time to trust again, a long time to get back into the world of dating again.
It doesn’t matter how many times I tell myself that heartbreak is inevitable, that there are going to be plenty of relationships that aren’t going to work out, that getting my heart broken doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with me. Even though I know those things are true, it’s impossible to stop the pain. It’s impossible to turn off my emotions.
My problem is that I get attached easily. When I fall for someone, I fall hard. I pour everything into my relationships. I don’t take any half-measures. I’m either in or out. There is no in between. I realize it would be easier to date if I grew thicker skin, if I didn’t let everything bother me so much, but I can’t help it.
I’m too sensitive. I get my feelings hurt too easily. Every time I text someone or go on a date with someone or agree to get into a relationship with someone, I know I’m taking a risk. I know there’s a chance I could end up crying my eyes out into my pillowcase again. But it’s a risk I keep on taking.