When Someone You Love Is Hurting, You Hurt Too 

When someone you love is hurting, you never feel like you’re doing enough. You text them back within seconds. You hold them when they cry. You sprinkle them with cliches about how everything is going to be okay and how you’re going to be there for them if they need anything. You make sure they know they are supported and loved. But beyond that, there’s not much you can do. Ultimately, you’re powerless.

When someone you love is hurting, you have a hard time enjoying yourself. You don’t want to be out having a good time while your person is cooped up in their bedroom shedding tears. You would rather be with them, even if that means turning down a nice night in order to stay inside and sleep. It’s no question in your mind. You would choose your person every time.

When someone you love is hurting, your emotions are more extreme than they would have been if you were the one going through a hard time. You’re used to disappointment. You’re used to pain. A part of you might even believe you deserve it. But this other person doesn’t deserve a single bad thing. They don’t deserve any heartache, any sting. It feels unfair that they’re going through hell. It makes the world seem cruel.

When someone you love is hurting, it’s easy to overstep your boundaries. It’s easy to care too much. It’s easy to make things worse instead of better. You might make assumptions about how your person is feeling without talking to them first. You might try to get revenge for them, even though they want to handle the situation themselves. You might be so adamant about helping them that you accidentally end up pushing them away in the process.

When someone you love is hurting, you struggle to say the right thing. You don’t want to end up making them feel worse, so you double check every text you send and rethink every word that leaves your lips. You don’t want to ask too many questions and have them shut down, but you don’t want to talk about the time you went through something similar and make it seem like you’re making everything about you either. It’s hard to strike the perfect balance. It’s hard to comfort someone you love. But even if you mess up and say something stupid, you hope your person realizes how much you care. You hope they realize you only want the best for them.

When someone you love is hurting, it makes you sick to your stomach. Their pain is your pain. Their hardships are your hardships. You wish you could wave a magic wand in order to make everything okay again, but in reality, there’s no way for you to change things. It’s impossible for you to take away their suffering. It’s impossible for you to save them. You can’t do much more than watch from the sidelines, than be there for them when they’re ready for your comfort.