When you’re feeling off and can’t figure out the reason why, it’s hard to make yourself feel better again. You don’t know what’s going to solve your problem because you don’t know what your problem is in the first place. You don’t know what has you feeling so off-balance. All you know is you hate feeling like this. You hate getting so emotional over absolutely nothing at all.
You know you’re acting irrational when you get upset or annoyed or infuriated with the people who love you the most — but that doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t matter that you realize you’re being ridiculous because it doesn’t change the fact that you’re in a bad mood. You feel like you’ve lost control of yourself, like you’re helpless, powerless to your own emotions.
When you’re feeling off and can’t figure out the reason why, it’s easy to spiral. It’s easy to get so overwhelmed by what you’re experiencing that you start thinking about every bad thing that’s ever happened to you. It’s easy to accept your misery and deepen your misery instead of working on climbing out of it.
When people ask you what’s been bothering you, you don’t know what to tell them, so you accidentally end up pushing them away. You aren’t sure how to explain there isn’t anything specific on your mind. There isn’t a hidden reason behind your mood swings. You can’t pinpoint what has been putting you so on edge, so you certainly can’t explain to them what’s been wrong. You might be honest with them and admit that you have no idea yourself — but they probably won’t believe you. They’ll assume you’re keeping something from them. They’ll think you don’t trust them enough to give them the truth.
When you’re feeling off and can’t figure out the reason why, you get annoyed with yourself for wasting a perfectly good day. You feel like it didn’t have to be this way. You didn’t have to snap at your boyfriend or cancel plans or mope around all afternoon. You could have had fun. You could have been productive. You could have had a regular day if you would have simply gotten ahold of yourself.
It’s scary, but your mental state isn’t always going to make sense. Sometimes, you’re going to get into bad moods for absolutely no reason. Sometimes, you’re going to have a hard time snapping out of your funk. Sometimes, you’re going to wonder how it’s possible to know so little about your own mind and body.
But you’re going to get through these days. You’re going to make it through these mood swings. You’re going to be okay again soon.
When you’re feeling off and can’t figure out the reason why, it can be hard to find the energy to climb out of bed and act like a productive human being, but you have to keep going. You have to trust that your weird mood is going to end soon. You have to believe that things are going to get better, even if you’re not sure how to make them better.