After my parents got divorced, I spent a long time calling myself a skeptic. I closed off my heart. I didn’t want anyone to get too close to me because I was worried about them hurting me. I never pictured myself getting married. I considered it an unnecessary risk. I considered it crazy. But over the years, my opinion has changed. In the end, their divorce stopped scaring me away from relationships and started preparing me for my own marriage.
Their divorce taught me to be careful about who I trust. It taught me to pay closer attention to actions than words. It taught me to be selective about who gets my love, my affection, and my effort. It taught me to make sure whoever had my heart was actually deserving of it.
Their divorce taught me liking your person is as important as loving your person. It taught me the importance of respecting your partner and supporting your partner and wanting the same type of future as your partner. It taught me to never settle for less, to never stick in a toxic situation simply because I felt like there was no way out.
Their divorce taught me marriage isn’t something to take lightly, it isn’t something to rush into, it isn’t simply a milestone to check off your list. Marriage is a major commitment and it isn’t for everyone. It’s only something you should pursue if you’re serious about your person, if you trust your person, if you have your heart set on spending an eternity with your person.
Their divorce taught me reality is more important than perception. It doesn’t matter how perfect your relationship looks from the outside. You should be putting more effort into your actual relationship than into looking like you have a strong relationship. You should care more about what your person thinks than what everyone else thinks.
Their divorce taught me couples should treat each other as priorities. You should act as teammates, not as competitors. You should work your hardest to uplift each other, not to belittle and abuse each other. You should make sure you’re truly there for each other through good times and the rough times, not one or the other.
Their divorce taught me how quickly misunderstandings can snowball. It taught me how easy it is to make the wrong assumption. It taught me how important it is to spill your feelings, to explain where you’re coming from, to be open and vulnerable. It taught me communication is one of the most important pieces to a healthy relationship.
Their divorce taught me that no matter how much you love someone, that love isn’t always going to last. It taught me that, if something unexpected ends up happening and my marriage doesn’t last for as long as we hope, I’m going to end up okay. I’m going to be able to survive on my own. I’m going to be perfectly fine, whether my marriage lasts a lifetime or not.