1. Sometimes, it’s just as difficult to be the heartbreaker as it is to be the one getting your heart broken. You’re allowed to be upset over your relationship ending. And if you’re not all that upset, that’s okay too. There’s no right way to feel right now. Any emotion is a valid emotion.

2. There are people who are going to be angry with you — but that doesn’t mean you made the wrong decision. Don’t let them guilt trip you into changing your mind. Don’t let them make you feel bad about a decision you had to make for the sake of your own happiness.

3. Stop blaming yourself for what happened. Even though you were the one who officially ended the relationship, it wasn’t your fault the relationship didn’t work out. Some people just don’t belong together. Some people are only meant to be in your world for a temporary amount of time.

4. You’re not a bad person for breaking their heart. It would be worse for you to remain in a relationship where you’re not invested, a relationship that is one-sided and unfulfilling. You were never going to live happily ever after with them, so it’s better you broke their heart now instead of letting them get even more attached to you.

5. You shouldn’t stay in a relationship that makes you unhappy because you’re worried no one else is going to love you or because you would rather be dating anyone than call yourself single again. It’s a good thing you refused to settle. You’re going to find love again. This isn’t the end of your story.

6. You had no choice but to break this person’s heart — but that doesn’t mean you need to make their heartache harder on them. As much as you might want to stay friends with them, you have to respect their healing process. If they need time alone, give them time alone. Don’t try to hook up with them no strings attached. Don’t make it even harder for them to get over you than it’s already going to be.

7. Sometimes you’re going to be the one breaking hearts. Other times you’re going to be the one getting your heart broken. That’s the way love works. It’s never easy to experience heartache, regardless of whether you’re on the giving or receiving side. But you’ll get through this. So will your ex.

8. You can’t force love. Even if the two of you seemed like the perfect match on paper, it’s not your fault if you don’t have any feelings for them. You can’t do anything to change the way you feel.

9. You’re allowed to leave a relationship when you’re unhappy, when you’re bored, or when you’re lonely even though you’re not alone. If you feel like you’re with the wrong person, then you’re under no obligation to fight for your relationship. You’re allowed to choose the single life. You’re allowed to call it quits. Other people might not agree with your decision but that doesn’t matter because it’s your decision.