1. You’re underestimating yourself. You’re assuming you don’t have anything to offer. You’re assuming something is wrong with you. You’re assuming you don’t have enough alluring qualities to capture someone else’s attention. But you aren’t giving yourself enough credit. You’re beautiful. You’re intelligent. You’re capable. You’re strong. You’re talented. Anyone would be lucky to have you.
2. You’re overestimating your heartache. You’re assuming you’re never going to fall in love again. You’re assuming you missed your chance at a happily ever after. You’re assuming nothing like this is ever going to happen again. Despite how upset you are right now, your last relationship wasn’t a one-time experience. You’re going to find someone who makes you happy again. You’re going to get butterflies again. You’re going to love again.
3. You’re stuck in a cynical, toxic mindset. You’re assuming every relationship is going to end like your last relationship. You’re assuming everyone is going to hurt you in the end. You’re assuming what you went through in the past is an indication of what you’re going to experience in the future, which is not true. You can learn from the mistakes you’ve made. You can raise your standards. You can make sure your next relationship turns out completely different than the one you just came out of broken.
4. You keep comparing yourself to everyone else. You compare yourself to your friends who are engaged. You compare yourself to characters in romantic comedies who met the love of their life in high school. You keep letting your jealousy get the best of you, but you have to remember your journey is not the same as theirs. You’re going to move at a different pace and that’s okay. That’s nothing to worry about.
5. You can’t picture anything changing. It might be hard to believe, but the way you feel right this second isn’t the way you’re going to feel every other second for the rest of your life. Your world is constantly changing. You are constantly evolving. Your situation right now isn’t going to be your situation forever. You have to keep telling yourself that the loneliness and heartache you feel right now isn’t going to last.
6. Your track record isn’t the greatest. Maybe you’ve been single for a large gap of time. Maybe you’ve never been in a serious relationship. Maybe every person you’ve fallen for has been manipulative and below your level. Whatever the case may be, you can’t put too much emphasis on the past. You have to focus more on your future. Just because you haven’t had much experience with healthy, strong relationships up until this point doesn’t mean you’re never going to enter one in the future.
7. You don’t realize how much love is already surrounding you. Even though you aren’t in a romantic relationship, you have plenty of people who care about you, who support you, who admire you, who want what’s best for you. You have family and friends who want you to know that you matter, that you’re not as alone as you feel.