1. Make her happiness your first priority. It doesn’t matter if you would never get married at the venue she picked or wear the dress she’s been eyeing. This is her wedding, not yours. You might not have the same taste — and that’s okay. Her wedding isn’t supposed to be your dream wedding. It’s supposed to be her dream wedding. As long as she’s happy, then you should be happy for her.
2. Try your best to get along with the other bridesmaids. You don’t have to be best friends with them. You don’t have to keep in touch with them once the wedding is over. But while you’re planning for the big day, try your best not to butt heads with the rest of the wedding party. The bride is probably already dealing with enough drama.
3. Be careful about bashing weddings. You don’t want to make fun of brides who wear princess dresses or spend extra on expensive photo booths, only to find out your friend is planning on doing the same exact thing. You don’t want to insult her on accident, so be careful about what you say to her throughout the planning process. You’re allowed to give your opinion, but don’t be too brutal.
4. Support her decisions. It doesn’t matter if you hate your dress. It doesn’t matter if you think the flowers she’s already purchased are the ugliest things you’ve ever seen. You don’t have to lie to her about loving her decisions, but you should support them. You should be on her side.
5. Be her shoulder to lean on when she’s stressing out. Weddings are expensive. They cause a lot of family drama. And they require a LOT of decision making. If your friend needs to vent to you every once in a while, let her release steam. Now is not the time to make snide comments about how she doesn’t have the right to complain since she’s found the love of your life and you’re still single. She’s allowed to be stressed. She’s allowed to get teary-eyed. This is a huge milestone for her. It’s a lot of pressure. And if you’re a good friend, you’ll be there for her just like she’s always been there for you.
6. Volunteer to do wedding related things. You might assume everyone is jumping at the chance to help her with wedding related tasks, but for some brides, wedding planning is a lonely time. They might not have parents or siblings to go with them to dress fittings and cake tastings. Volunteering to tag along with her can never hurt.
7. Show your excitement. Tell her how much you’re looking forward to attending the wedding. Tell her how happy you are that she’s found someone to spend the rest of her life alongside. Tell her you’re honored to be a part of her special day. Make sure she knows you appreciate her friendship, and aren’t treating her wedding as some sort of chore.
8. Be honest with her from the start. If you really don’t want to be her bridesmaid because you aren’t sure whether you can afford the dress and the flight and the presents, then be honest with her. She might be able to work something out with you. Or she might ask someone else to be her bridesmaid and give you a regular invite to the wedding like the rest of the guests. Either way, she’s not going to hate you if you’re honest with her.