We know we shouldn’t be chasing after guys who want nothing to do with us. So why do we keep doing it?
1. We (wrongly) assume they’re too scared to make a move. We have a hard time accepting our feelings are one-sided. We assume the other person must feel the same way about us, so we make up excuses about why they haven’t asked us out yet. Maybe they’re shy. Maybe they’re scared of making the first move. Maybe they’re bad at texting. Maybe they were hurt so badly in their last relationship that they’re too scared to love again. No matter what the case may be, we assume they really do want to be with us. They just haven’t admitted it yet.
2. They’re purposely stringing us along. Sometimes, people will purposely make us think they feel the same way in order to keep us around for longer. Sometimes, they’ll play with our emotions in order to benefit themselves. After all, we’re always there to boost their ego and act as their shoulder to lean on, so they don’t want to lose us – but they don’t want to date us either. Unfortunately, since they’re so sneaky and manipulative, it’s hard for us to tell whether they actually like us too or whether they’re only playing games.
3. We think we can change their minds. We think, if they get to know us well enough, they’ll change their minds about dating us. We think we’re right about being perfect for each other and it’s only a matter of time until they realize it too. We think we deserve a happy ending and it’s going to happen one of these days. We have unrealistically high expectations because we can picture our daydreams becoming a reality.
4. We’ve been taught to fight for what we want. Sometimes, it’s good to chase after what we want. Other times, it’s not the greatest idea. When it comes to relationships, we probably shouldn’t chase after someone who doesn’t want to be caught because it always ends with us in one-sided relationships. It always ends with us giving more than we receive back. Of course, chasing them isn’t fair to them either. If they don’t want to date us, we should respect their wishes. We should leave them alone.
5. We like a challenge. Some of us are turned off by people who are attracted to us because we feel like they have bad taste. We don’t actually want someone who wants us. We want someone who couldn’t care less about us because it makes us feel like they’re out of our league, like getting them would be some sort of accomplishment. It’s a weird, self-destructive way to think, but some of us can’t help it.
6. We’re madly, deeply in love. Love makes us do crazy things. Sometimes, even though we know we’re going to end up getting our hearts broken, we can’t help but pine after a certain someone. They’re the only one we want, so it’s hard to give up on them. We just keep chasing them and chasing them until we burn out.