What Getting Turned Down REALLY Means Because It Doesn’t Mean You’re Unlovable

What Getting Turned Down REALLY Means Because It Doesn’t Mean You’re Unlovable

Getting turned down means you were strong enough to act vulnerable, to wear your heart on your sleeve, to express your emotions. It means instead of sitting back and letting the what ifs slowly eat away at you, you decided to take action. You decided to take a risk on love and on yourself. It means you’re one of the brave ones. It means you’re doing exactly what you’re supposed to be doing.

Getting turned down doesn’t mean you’re unattractive, unappealing, unlovable. It means someone didn’t click with you. Or someone didn’t look close enough to see your worth. Either way, it has nothing to do with you. You didn’t do anything wrong. You didn’t make a mistake. Sometimes, there isn’t any chemistry and there isn’t anything you can do to change that. Other times, the person you like might overlook your strengths — but there are a million more people who will have their eyes opened wider.

Getting turned down doesn’t mean you’re never going to find a partner. It means you weeded out someone who never would have worked as a parter. It means you’re on the right track to finding someone who fits you. In the moment, it might feel like you made a mistake by opening up about your feelings since you ended up getting turned down — but this is actually a good thing. It means, when the right person comes around, you won’t let them get away. You’ll have the courage to speak your feelings. Making the first move wasn’t a mistake. It was good practice for the real deal.

Getting turned down means you stepped outside of your comfort zone. It means you put yourself out there. It means you loved yourself and respected yourself enough to say, “I deserve this.” Even though you didn’t end up getting what you wanted, you should be proud of yourself for putting in the effort. You should feel like you accomplished something, even if you don’t have a relationship to show for your hard work.

Getting turned down means you listened to your heart. You chased after your desires. You went after what you wanted. You didn’t push back your emotions out of fear of what might happen to you. You didn’t lie to yourself about how you felt because you thought it would be easier to pretend to feel nothing. You didn’t let worst case scenarios stop you from doing what you wanted to do. You decided to try something scary, something intimidating, something most people wouldn’t bother to do so they could continue to play it safe.

Getting turned down might feel like the end of the world in this moment, but it’s actually a good thing. It’s good you had the courage to wear your heart on your sleeve. It’s good you decided to turn dating into one of your priorities. It’s good you stopped allowing yourself to hide quietly in the corner without asking for what you want. It’s good you’re trying, so you better not stop. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Holly is the author of Severe(d): A Creepy Poetry Collection.

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