Seeing You With Her Doesn't Make Me Jealous Anymore

Seeing You With Her Doesn’t Make Me Jealous Anymore

I’m not jealous when I see you with her anymore because I’ve stopped making comparisons. I’m not going to pit myself against her. She’s beautiful in certain ways. I’m beautiful in other ways. I’m not going to criticize her in order to feel better about myself. And I’m not going to stare in the mirror, trying to figure out what’s so wrong with me that you chose someone else. Besides, if I’m going to be upset with someone about what happened between us, if I’m going to blame someone for tearing us apart, it’s not her. It’s you.

I’m not jealous when I see you with her anymore because your relationship might not be as happy as it seems on social media. I’m not able to see the behind the scenes arguments you have with each other. I’m not able to see whether your relationship is as healthy as you claim it is. You look happy with her, but you looked happy with me too, and that didn’t turn out well for either of us. Since I don’t actually know any details about your relationship, I’m not going to judge it or be jealous of it. I hope you treat her better than you treated me, but who knows? She could be going through the same hell you put me through.

I’m not jealous when I see you with her anymore because my confidence has risen. I don’t need a relationship in order to feel secure with myself. I’m happy in this moment. I’m proud of myself in this moment. I don’t feel like you’re a necessary piece of my world anymore. I’ve learned it’s easier for me to grow without you anchoring me down.

I’m not jealous when I see you with her anymore because your new relationship has been a wakeup call for me. It’s been my cue to move on from you, to stop crying over you, to stop wondering whether I’m ever going to get back together with you. Now, I realize we’re better off without each other. We’re better off seeing different people.

I’m not jealous when I see you with her anymore because we don’t belong together. If you weren’t with her, you would be with someone else, or you would be single. There’s no future where you would have ended up with me. We never made sense together. We were too toxic together.

I’m not jealous when I see you with her anymore because your happiness doesn’t take away from my happiness. One of us doesn’t have to win the breakup. We can both be happy, successful, and fulfilled. There’s no reason to be upset about seeing you with her. If anything, it should reassure me there’s someone out there for everyone. You found your person and now I’m off to find mine.

I’m not jealous when I see you with her anymore because you don’t deserve me — but you deserve happiness. I hope you treat each other right. I hope your new relationship works out better for you than ours did. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Holly is the author of Severe(d): A Creepy Poetry Collection.

Keep up with Holly on Instagram, Twitter and Amazon