For All The Girls With Summer Heartaches 

For All The Girls With Summer Heartaches 

You might have ruined our relationship — but you’re not about to ruin my summer.

Even though I’m heartbroken over what happened between us, I’m not going to use it as an excuse to turn down plans with my friends, to hide myself away in my bedroom, to waste the most beautiful months of the year. I’m not going to let myself wake up in winter and wonder how time moved so fast, how another summer went by without me.

Don’t worry. I’m not going to push myself too hard too soon because I deserve to grieve the end of our relationship, I deserve a little bit of time to be sad — but at the same time, I’m not going to allow the grieving process to interfere with my plans for the season. I’m not going to let the thought of you hurt me more than it should. I’m not going to let you win. I’m not going to let you get what you want, which is to see me miserable and mourning you.

Even though it’s going to be hard to forget about you when couples pass me on the beach, holding hands and snapping cute selfies in the sand, I’m going to do my best to move on from you. I’m going to pick myself up and replace my tears with salt water. I’m going to dive in the ocean until it wipes my face clean and wipes my memory clean.

I had big plans for us this summer, but plans can always be rearranged. I don’t need a boyfriend in order to enjoy the heat. I can go to the beach with my friends, dip in the pool with my friends, go to festivals and concerts with my friends. I would rather be around them anyway — people who genuinely love me and want the best for me. They make me feel loved. They’re already helping me along in the healing process.

As much as it hurts to know you’re gone, I’m not going to let you ruin my self-esteem or my summer. Even though there’s a part of me that wants to climb back into bed and replay all of the moments we spent together, that’s not something I’m going to do. I’m not going to spend every single day cooped inside the house, wondering whether you’re crying over me too or whether you’ve already moved on with some other girl. I’m not going to let you ruin my favorite time of the year. I’m not going to waste all my time weeping when I could be going out and having a good time.

You already hurt my heart, but I’m not going to let you hurt my tan.

I promised myself I was going to have fun this summer. Even though I assumed you were going to be part of the picture, I’m not going to let our breakup change the fact that I’m going to have a good time. I’m not going to let you get in the way of summer 2019. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Holly is the author of Severe(d): A Creepy Poetry Collection.

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