Don’t Run Away When The Love Feels Stale

There are plenty of reasons why you should run away from a relationship. Because it has become toxic. Because you realized you want completely different things from your future. Because you were hurt beyond repair. Because you aren’t sure this person is meant to be your forever.

But if the reason you’re thinking about running away is because the puppy love phase has ended and the love has grown stale, you should rethink your decision.  You should stay and try putting more effort into the relationship — and you should encourage your person to do the same.

It’s natural for the love to feel stale after you’ve been dating someone for years, after you’ve seen their good and bad sides, after you’ve grown comfortable around each other and have stopped trying so hard to make a good impression. It’s natural for you to miss the excitement you felt when you first got together, when you were first learning what made each other tick. Unfortunately, that feeling cannot last forever — but it can be replaced by a better feeling, by a stronger love.

Right now, the love might feel stale because you don’t feel the need to woo each other anymore, because you’ve stopped flirting with each other, because you trust that the other person isn’t going anywhere so you’ve relaxed and started going with the flow more.

While your comfort is a good thing, you should never stop flirting with your person. You should never stop taking each other out on dates. You should never stop complimenting each other and making each other feel sexy.

With your hectic schedules, it might be easier to stay home on your days off, but you don’t have to settle for date nights filled with pizza and beer. That’s fine every once in a while, but you should treat yourselves out on the town too. You should embark on new adventures. You should eat at new restaurants, visit new cities, and sign up for new classes.

When the love feels stale, it’s probably because you feel like you’ve already done everything together, because you feel like your firsts are finished, because you feel like you’ve fallen into a practiced routine. But you don’t have to stay in that routine. You can make a change at any time. You can redefine how you spend your weekends. You can rejuvenate your entire relationship.

When the love feels stale, you shouldn’t get angry with each other, you shouldn’t blame each other, you shouldn’t grow to resent each other. You should work as a team to figure out a solution, to figure out a way to make you both excited again.

When the love feels stale, don’t assume the relationship has run its course. Don’t assume you’re never going to get that butterfly feeling back. Don’t assume it’s time for you to walk away. If you and your person put in the time and the effort, then pretty soon, you’re going to consider your relationship perfect again. You’re not going to feel exactly like you did when you were in puppy love, you’re going to feel even better.