When You Love Someone, You’re There For The Breakdowns

When You Love Someone, You’re There For The Breakdowns

When you love someone, you aren’t only around for the high moments. You’re around for the low ones too.

You have to sit there on the floor with your person while they’re crying their eyes out. You have to listen to them vent about what’s bothering them even if there’s nothing you can do to help them feel any better. You have to be the shoulder they can lean on when they’re going through a tough time, even if you’re going through a tough time too.

You can’t turn your pain into a competition. You can’t tell them they don’t have any right to feel upset or anxious or angry because you think you’re going through worse. You have to consider every single one of their feelings valid. You have to try your hardest to understand where they’re coming from and you have to remember they’re allowed to complain about having a bad time even if you’ve been having a worse time.

When you love someone, their problems become your problems. You can’t leave them to deal with some horrible tragedy while you run off with your friends. You can’t act like whatever they’re struggling with has nothing to do with you. You’re dating them, so it does have something to do with you. You are automatically involved.

When you love someone, you give them space when they ask to be alone, but you never let them suffer on their own when they want you by their side. You never let them down, especially not in their most emotionally messy moments.

When you love someone, it’s not always easy to do the right thing, but you have to try your hardest to put your person first. Sometimes, you have to make sacrifices for them when thing go haywire. Sometimes, you have to push your schedule aside in order to be there for them when they need you the most. You can’t wait until it’s convenient for you to start acting like you care about them. You have to care, even when it’s a bad time for you, even when you’re busy, even when you wish you were doing something else.

When you love someone, there might be teary phone calls at two in the morning. There might be favors asked at midnight. There might be frantic texts in the middle of your work day. The shit your person is going through cannot always be controlled. They can’t always call when it’s convenient for you. Sometimes, they’re going to need you at the most inconvenient times.

When you love someone, you don’t get to pick and choose when you pay attention to them. You don’t get to stick around for the fun times and leave as soon as the shit hits the fan. You have to support them through whatever they’re experiencing. You have to be their rock, their backup, their shoulder to lean on.

When you love someone, you’re there for the laughter and the celebrations — but you’re also there for the breakdowns. You’re there through everything. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Holly is the author of Severe(d): A Creepy Poetry Collection.

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