Stop Using Your Dating Life As A Measure Of Your Value

Stop Using Your Dating Life As A Measure Of Your Value

You’re searching for one person to spend the rest of your life alongside. Some of your friends might go on dates every weekend and won’t find their soulmate until later in life — but the next person to show interest in you might be the person you marry. You don’t need everyone to love you. You only need one person.

Of course, even if you never meet your soulmate, even if you spend the rest of your life single, that is not a measure of your worth. You don’t need a relationship in order to consider yourself a person of value.

It doesn’t matter if it’s been ages since anyone has asked you on a date.

It doesn’t matter if you’ve been on a million dates and none of them worked out.

It doesn’t matter if you’re in your twenties and you still haven’t been on your first date yet.

The number of people you’ve dated or kissed or matched with on apps isn’t a measure of your value. Whether or not you’re in a long-term relationship isn’t a measure of your value.

You have to stop letting your relationship status have such a strong impact on your view of yourself. You have to stop thinking less and less of yourself based on the way other people treat you.

It’s okay to mope around the house after you find out your crush is dating someone else. It’s okay to cry when someone turns you down. It’s okay to feel lonely. It’s okay to wish you were in a relationship like the rest of your friends.

But it’s not okay to tear yourself apart because the person you wanted to date rejected you. It’s not okay to call yourself ugly, stupid, and talentless just because it’s been a while since anyone hit on you. It’s not okay to act like romantic love is the only thing in this world that matters.

You’re allowed to get emotional when love doesn’t go your way. You’re allowed to wallow for a little while. But don’t you dare call yourself names. Don’t you dare punish yourself. Don’t you dare assume something is wrong with you.

Being in a relationship is not a step above being single. It’s simply different from being single. Your worth does not change based on your status.

If you started dating someone tomorrow, you would be the same exact person you are today. You would be worth the same. Everything would be the same, aside from the fact you’re now in a relationship.

Even though it might feel like the most important thing in the world is finding someone to love, having someone to cuddle with on weeknights does not raise your worth. Having a ring on your finger does not raise your worth. Having pictures of yourself in a white gown does not raise your worth.

Stop walking around like your single status is the end of the world. Stop telling yourself you’re a failure just because you haven’t found your person yet. Stop using your love life as a measure of your value. Stop questioning your worth. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Holly is the author of Severe(d): A Creepy Poetry Collection.

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