I wasn’t the one who walked away from our almost relationship. I was patient. I liked you enough to wait for you. I gave you time to get over your ex. I gave you time to heal. I gave you time to enjoy the single life and time to figure out what you wanted from this world.
I waited and waited for our almost relationship to become something real — but you never took the next step with me. You decided to take it with someone else.
Looking back, it was stupid for me to give you chance after chance, to text you day after day, to invite you over weekend after weekend. I thought I was slowly breaking through your barriers. I thought your wall was going to come crashing down one day and you would finally ask me to be your girlfriend.
I waited such a long time for you. I turned down other relationships for you. I obsessed over you. At the time, I thought it was romantic to wait for you. I thought you would appreciate my effort. I thought you would want to be there for me in the same ways I had been there for you.
I put so much time into you. It never once crossed my mind that all my hard work would be for nothing. I thought we were taking normal stepping stones every couple takes. I thought we were going to become boyfriend and girlfriend after enough time had passed. I didn’t have a doubt in my mind about your feelings for me. I knew we would date. I just wasn’t sure when it would happen. So I stayed patient.
I didn’t complain when you took too long to answer texts or canceled plans with me at the last second or flirted with some other girl because I didn’t want you to feel smothered. I wanted you to know I was going to be there for you, no matter what. I wanted you to know it was okay to take your time.
There were days when I dropped everything for you, when I made sacrifices for you. I wanted to show you that you could count on me. You could trust me. You didn’t have to be afraid of committing to me because I would never hurt you like you were hurt in the past.
I waited and waited for our almost relationship to become something real — which was my main mistake. I should have been upfront with you about what I wanted. I should have asked you on a date myself, and if you turned me down, I should have moved on from you.
I shouldn’t have waited for you to make me a priority, because you ended up making someone else a priority. I shouldn’t have let you hold onto my heart for such a long time because you ended up breaking it. I shouldn’t have stayed in an almost relationship with you when I wanted the real thing.