You want a relationship — but he isn’t ready for one.
You compromise by sleeping together. You tell yourself it’s the best solution for the time being. You tell yourself you’ll get out before you get too attached to him. You tell yourself you aren’t going to get hurt. But in situations like this, someone always gets hurt.
Sleeping with him isn’t going to buy you time with him. It isn’t going convince him to give you a chance outside of the bedroom. It isn’t going to change his mind about whether or not he wants to date you. It isn’t going to lead to the results you want.
You might think you’re tearing down his walls a little more every time you sleep with him, but all you’re doing is hurting yourself.
You’re fooling yourself into believing you could have a future with this guy. You’re getting used to the feel of his body, his kisses, his cuddles. You’re falling in love with him and assuming he’s going to fall for you too.
But if he felt the same way, you would be more than a hookup. He wouldn’t be talking to other girls on the side. He wouldn’t be coming up with excuses for why you shouldn’t hang out in public or see each other too many days in a row.
Sleeping together does not mean the same thing to him as it means to you.
You keep telling yourself you’re the kind of person who can handle a no-strings attached relationship and maybe you can — but not with him. You’re already in too deep. You already have such strong feelings for him.
The more you sleep with him, the more time you spend with him, the harder it’s going to be to accept he doesn’t want to date you.
You shouldn’t give him exactly what he wants from you in the hopes he’ll return the favor someday in the future. He doesn’t owe you anything. He already warned you he’s not ready for a relationship so he’s not going to feel bad when he breaks your heart.
He’s going to say you knew what you were getting yourself into. He’s going to say he was upfront with you since day one. He’s going to say it’s not his fault you got hurt because you told him you could handle a casual relationship, you told him you were fine.
You know a casual relationship with him is not what you really want. You know you’re only sleeping with him in the hopes your relationship will blossom into something real if you stick around long enough. You know you’re not getting as much pleasure out of this arrangement as he is.
Every time you sleep with him, you’re hurting yourself more and more. You’re falling for him deeper and deeper. You’re making it harder and harder for the future-you to get over him.
If what you really want is a serious relationship, then you can’t settle for something casual. You can’t give up what you want just to spend more time with him.