Stop worrying about coming across as a bitch. You’re not a bitch for speaking your mind. You’re not a bitch for expecting respect. You’re not a bitch for saying no, I do not deserve to be treated this way.
You’re allowed to scream into pillowcases. You’re allowed to swear. You’re allowed to raise your middle finger. You’re allowed to experience ‘ugly’ emotions, emotions other than excitement and sadness.
You’re allowed to get pissed off when someone hurts you, when someone disrespects you, when someone tries to diminish your mind and your body.
Stop accepting shitty treatment because you don’t want to come across as difficult or intimidating or complicated. Stop trying to play nice and get along with people who are making your life a living hell.
You don’t always have to handle situations ‘the mature way.’ You don’t always have to take ‘the high road.’ Sometimes, those aren’t options anymore. Sometimes, you’re forced to use your voice — and that doesn’t make you a bitch.
When someone hurts you, you’re allowed to tell them off. You’re allowed to call them out on their bullshit. You’re allowed to stand up for yourself. You don’t have to pretend everything is fine in order to keep the peace. You don’t have to pretend you aren’t offended when you’ve actually spent the night bawling out your eyes or screaming until your throat turned raw.
Your emotions are valid, even your nastiest emotions. You have to understand, speaking up when you’re being disrespected doesn’t make you a mean person. Even if you have a reputation for being the sweetest girl on the block, you don’t have to feel pressured to hold your tongue and hold your temper in every single situation.
Sometimes, you’re going to have to speak the truth if you want to be treated the way you deserve. Sometimes, you have to make other people uncomfortable so they understand the way their actions are impacting you. Sometimes, you have to use your anger as a tool. You have to express it. You have to stop holding it back, stop pretending you are fine, stop pretending it’s okay that other people are stampeding over you.
Your anger exists for a reason. It’s telling you something isn’t right about the situation you’re in. It’s telling you the person you’re dealing with is not treating you the right way. It’s telling you something needs to change.
When someone disrespects you, you don’t have to handle the situation with class. You don’t have to act like a lady. You can attempt to diffuse the situation with your soft heart at first — but that isn’t your only option. At a certain point, it stops being an option at all.
As much as you hate confrontation, as much as you want to be a team player, there are moments when you have to make a stand. Remember, it’s okay to tell the blunt truth. It’s okay to put someone in their place. It’s okay to be angry, because compliancy would be worse.