You want to be the one in charge, the one setting plans, the one in control.
You have a hard time sitting back and allowing someone else to man the wheel. You might complain about how you’re always the one planning dates and picking where you’re going to eat dinner, but the truth is, you don’t want your person to pick the restaurant or the movie or the songs to listen to on long drives. You want to make those decisions. You’re a picky person. You have strong opinions.
Because you consider yourself a control freak, it’s hard to move in with someone, to cohabitate with someone, to act as a teammate to someone after years of doing your own thing.
You might know exactly which set of curtains you want for the bedroom or what color you want to paint the bathroom, but you need to involve your person in your decisions now. You need to make sure they are on the same page. If they aren’t, then you need to come to compromises, which has never been your strong suit. You want everything your way. You don’t want to negotiate. You don’t want to play fair. You want what you want.
Of course, when you’re in a serious relationship, you’re supposed to act as equals. Your person has as much of a say in decisions as you do. You have to work together in order to assure you’re both happy. Once you enter a serious relationship, it’s not all about you anymore.
As a control freak, you can accidentally overstep boundaries. You might pick out what your person is going to wear on dates and in couple’s pictures instead of letting them choose their own clothes. You might tell your person how they’re going to spend their weekend instead of letting them decide for themselves. Of course, your person might consider your actions more overbearing than caring. They might not want you to baby them. They might feel like you are suffocating them, like you are acting more like a boss than a life partner.
When you’re a control freak, you aren’t trying to offend anyone. You just want to take care of everyone. If your person has a problem, you will jump in and try to handle it for them, you will try to make everything okay again. But your person might not want you to save them. They might not even want your advice. They might just want you to listen, to be there for them, to comfort them.
When you’re a control freak, you want to know what you’re getting yourself into ahead of time. You want to plan out every little detail. You want to be the one in control because you trust your own judgement. The idea of handing your heart over to someone else is absolutely terrifying because it means your emotions are in their hands now. It means you’re giving up a little bit of control — and that is the last thing you want to do.