I want us to grow together, to navigate the world of adulting together. That means you don’t have to be perfect to date me. You don’t have to have everything figured out. But you do have to have your shit together.

I’m not interested in dating someone emotionally immature. I don’t want to waste my effort on someone who is going to turn around, cheat on me, and claim it’s not their fault because their ex or their parents or their friends really fucked them up. I want someone who owns their shit. Someone who takes responsibility for their actions.

I want someone who is mature enough to admit when they’re wrong, mature enough to apologize, mature enough to make the changes necessary to better themselves.

Better yet, I want someone who is going to make a valiant effort to avoid screwing up in the first place. I don’t want someone who assumes I’m going to accept their sorries, forgive them, give them a second chance. I want someone who doesn’t even want to risk the chance of me walking away. I want someone who treats me right from the beginning because the idea of hurting me hurts them.

I don’t want someone who treats our relationship like a joke, someone who thinks dating is a game, someone who considers themselves a player. I want someone who is serious about creating a stable relationship with me, someone who is excited to put effort into me, someone who considers me a permanent piece of their world.

I’m not willing to waste my time with anyone who has trouble figuring out whether they want to date me or sleep with me or string me along. I’m searching for someone who wants the same things I want — which means I’m searching for someone who actually knows what they want.

I’m not interested in pursuing someone who has no idea what they want out of their life, their career, their future — including what they want from me. I don’t want someone who changes their mind about whether they are ready for a committed relationship every other day. I don’t want someone who is stuck in the middle, caught between whether they want to continue living life as a bachelor or whether they want to try their hand at settling down.

I want to date someone who is excited about spending forever with me, not someone who is intimidated by the idea of making a commitment, not someone who is going to skirt around putting a label on our relationship.

If you’re confused about whether you want me or want to continue exploring your options, then you’re not the one for me. If you’re not mature enough to sit down and have real talks about your emotions, you’re not the one for me. If you’re still trying to figure out whether commitment is right for you, you’re not the one for me.

I only want to date someone who has their shit together, someone who is sure they want to spend forever with me, someone who can treat me right.