Loving someone means you accept their apologies — but only when those apologies are meaningful.

Loving someone means you accept their flaws, their quirks, and their baggage — but only when those qualities are harmless.

Loving someone means you stick around and fight for the relationship instead of running away — but only when the relationship is a healthy, solid, respectful one.

Loving someone does not mean you are bound to them for life, no matter what they put you through, no matter how horribly they treat you. Loving someone does not mean you grit your teeth and put up with their bullshit. Loving someone does not mean you lower yours standards in order to keep them in your universe.

When you love someone, it doesn’t mean you turn a blind eye to their bad habits. It doesn’t mean you sweep your problems under the rug. It doesn’t mean you pretend to be fine when you are secretly seething.

When you love someone, you should be comfortable having tough conversations with them about your thoughts and emotions. If you think expressing your feelings is going to scare them away, then you are clearly in the wrong relationship. You should clearly restart the search for someone better suited for you.

When you love someone, you shouldn’t fall into the habit of letting them get away with murder. You shouldn’t rant to your friends about all the ways you wish they would change but know they never will. You shouldn’t let it roll right off your back every time they treat you terribly.

If you went on a first date with someone who treats you the way your person treats you now, would you give them another chance? If the answer is no, why should your person get another chance? Just because of your history? Loving you, dating you, getting married or having a kid with you, doesn’t give them permission to start treating you like a punching bag.

When you love someone, you are allowed to call them out on their bullshit. You are allowed to get into arguments. You are allowed to be vocal about your feelings. You are allowed to sit them down for a talk where you set ground rules for each other, where you explain what you consider acceptable and unacceptable in a relationship.

If they don’t seem to care about your feelings or putting effort into righting their wrongs, you are allowed to leave. You are allowed to end the relationship even when the love is still alive. You are allowed to decide you’re better off on your own than with someone who disrespects you, who hurts you, who refuses to better themselves for the sake of your love story.

Loving someone doesn’t mean you let them get away with treating you terribly. The harsh truth is, if they cared about your relationship as much as you do, they would not make meaningless apologies. They would make changes. They would not swear they love you. They would show it. They would not treat you like shit. They would treat you the way you deserve.