I guess our friendship was only able to survive when we were both single. I guess you decided you had to distance yourself from me for the sake of your relationship. I guess you got stuck choosing between a casual friend and the love of your life — and love won out.
I guess we’re no longer friends now that you’ve got a girlfriend. I guess I’m not allowed to hang out with you one-on-one anymore. I guess I have to watch what I say around you (if I ever even get the chance to talk to you). I guess I’m not to be trusted.
I guess how close we were in the past is screwing me over in the present. I guess it’s a bad thing we got along so well. I guess our history is working against me. I guess it’s casting me in the wrong light. I guess it’s making me look like a threat when that is the farthest thing from the truth.
I guess you really like this girl. I guess you would do anything to make her happy, anything to make her more comfortable. I guess that’s a good sign for your relationship. Unless it’s a bad one. Unless it means you’re sacrificing things for her you shouldn’t have to sacrifice. Unless it means you’re blinded.
Either way, the situation sucks for me. It sucks to realize you don’t care about me enough to keep me around. It sucks that you don’t have a problem with missing out on conversations with me, hangouts with me, inside jokes with me. It sucks that our friendship was never as stable as I assumed.
The thing is, I don’t have a million friends. I hate most people. I dodge them in supermarkets and leave texts unanswered. The people I actually give a shit about, the people I reach out to on weekends and check in on throughout the week, mean a lot to me. I wouldn’t throw those people away without a second thought. I wouldn’t screw them over. Not even in the name of love.
I guess our friendship meant less to you than it always has to me. I guess I shouldn’t have allowed myself to care. I guess I shouldn’t have wasted my time with your temporary friendship.
I could be upset you chose her over me. I could be pissed about how easy it’s been for you to walk away. I could be insulted you are comfortable throwing away our history. Or I could be flattered about being considered a threat. I could take your disappearance as a compliment. I could accept there was something real between us and that’s the reason why you felt the need to cut me out of your life.
I guess I should stop complaining about the choice you’ve made. I guess I should stop questioning it, stop overanalyzing it, stop worrying about it. I guess we’re not friends now that you’ve got a girlfriend — and I guess it’s time for me to accept that.