You Can Love Someone Without Keeping Them Around

You Can Love Someone Without Keeping Them Around

You can love someone without keeping them around. You can miss them without sending a text. You can wish things ended differently without trying to fix an unsolvable problem.

Missing someone is not always a sign you should reunite with them. It does not mean you should forgive them. It does not mean you should toss aside the pain they put you through in the past. 

It might hurt to ignore their messages. It might kill you to block their number. But sometimes, you have to walk away for the sake of your own mental health. Sometimes, the right move feels like the wrong one.

You are allowed to mourn the end of a relationship. You are allowed to question whether you made the right decision by cutting them out of your world completely. You can run the pros and cons through your head one more time. You can lose sleep debating whether you should give them one more chance. All that is normal. It is part of the healing process.

Wondering whether you made the right choice is not a sign you made the wrong one. It’s a sign you have a heart. It’s a sign you care. It’s a sign you are trying to do the right thing.

Of course, sometimes the right thing feels mean. It feels bitchy. It feels selfish. But you have to give yourself permission to be selfish. You have to remind yourself it is okay to walk away when you are unhappy, when you are stressed, when you cannot handle another argument with them.

Leaving does not mean you never loved them. Leaving does not mean you were unwilling to put in the effort to fix things. Chances are, you loved them more than you loved yourself. Chances are, you spent months trying to fix things. But some things cannot be fixed.

Stop feeling like the bad guy for taking care of yourself. Anyone who tries to guilt trip you does not understand your situation. You can explain your side of the story to them but they will never fully grasp what you went through. They will never be able to see things your way.

You are allowed to decide someone you love, someone you assumed would always be in your world, has hurt you one too many times to stay. You are allowed to move forward without their weight dragging you down.

Even though you might miss them like crazy, even though you hate the way things ended, you don’t have to accept them on social media. You don’t have to answer their calls. You don’t have to read their texts. You don’t have to have any contact with them. You are allowed to disappear. You are allowed to ignore them in order to focus on what is best for yourself.

You can love someone and realize you are better off without them in your world. You can love someone without keeping them around for any longer. You can love someone without subjecting yourself to their toxicity. You can love someone and leave. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Holly is the author of Severe(d): A Creepy Poetry Collection.

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