She Isn’t Leading You On, She’s Looking For Love

She Isn’t Leading You On, She’s Looking For Love

She is not leading you on with her random texts and selfies. She is trying to test the waters, test your reaction, test the chemistry. She cannot tell whether you are the one for her based on looks and a few back-and-forth texts. You might be perfect for her. Or you might be toxic. She is trying to figure out which one is the truth.

She is not purposely playing mind games with you. She is not intentionally driving you nuts. She is sorting through her feelings. She is sending first texts and asking to hang out so she can see whether you work well together, whether you make any sense as a couple, whether trying for a relationship with you would be worth the effort or a waste of her time.

She does not want to rush into the wrong relationship. She does not want to put herself through unnecessary heartbreak. She does not want to make another mistake when it comes to love because she has already made too many to count.

That is why she is going to take things slow with you. She is going to pace herself. She is going to take your relationship one step at a time.

She is the kind of person who wants to have meaningful conversations with you before kissing you. She wants to learn about your career, your family, and your hobbies before inviting you into her bedroom. She wants to know what she is getting herself into before becoming too invested in you.

It is going to take her some time to get comfortable around you, and in the end, she might decide you are not the right one for her after all. She might stop flirting. She might stop texting. She might choose to fade away. And that is okay.

She is allowed to consider her options. She is allowed to get close to you and pull away. She is allowed to decide someone she invested a lot of her energy into is not worth the trouble after all. She is allowed to change her mind, even if that means accidentally hurting someone in the process.

Just because she showed interest in you for a while and ultimately walked away does not mean she was leading you on the entire time. It does not mean she intended to play games with your heart. It does not mean she is laughing behind your back about how hard you fell for her.

Chances are, she feels terrible about your almost relationship never becoming an official relationship. Chances are, she had some sort of feelings for you and was trying to figure out what to do with them, trying to figure out whether to take a chance on you, trying to figure out what her next move should be.

She was never leading you on. She was never trying to hurt you. She was only looking for love — and, unfortunately, she still has not found it. She is still searching. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Holly Riordan

Holly is the author of Severe(d): A Creepy Poetry Collection.