My heart is marshmallow soft. Whenever someone hurts me, I will fight to see the situation from their point of view. I will forgive them time and time again. Even if it seems like their apology is inauthentic, I will let them get away with it. I will let myself get walked over for months — maybe even years — before walking away from someone I love.
It takes a lot for me to leave. Abandoning others is not in my nature. It goes against everything my heart tells me.
So if I reach a point where I am forced to remove someone from my world, do not make me feel like shit about it.
I don’t care if you are friends with them too. I don’t care if you think our fighting is childish. I don’t care if you just wish everyone would get along.
My business is none of yours. You have no say in my decisions. Even if you do not agree with the way I choose to live my life, questioning my choices is insulting and inappropriate.
You might have gotten misinformation. You might have gotten half the story. You might not have a clue what you are talking about, so do not guilt trip me into forgiving them. Do not batter me with cliche lines about how forgiveness is the best thing I can do for myself.
That is bullshit. I already did the best thing I could do for myself. I walked away from someone who mutilated my mental health. Someone who made me question my place on this planet. Someone who made me collapse into tear puddles.
When you ask me to forgive someone toxic, someone abusive, someone who has crossed unacceptable lines, it feels like you are making excuses for them. It feels like you are trying to punish me for sticking up for myself. It feels like you are telling me all of the hurtful things they did to me were okay.
You don’t have to agree with the decision I made, you don’t have to be happy about it, you don’t have to choose sides — but you are not allowed to guilt trip me every single time you talk to me.
You are never going to convince me to forgive them. If anything, you are going to convince me to walk away from you too.
When I made the decision to leave them behind, I second guessed myself for weeks. I put off leaving for much longer than I should have because I was worried about whether I was making the right choice. But it was the right choice. That is why I followed through on it.
I am not taking back my decision. I am not opening my doors and letting someone toxic crawl back inside. You can call me childish. You can call me a bitch. My reputation is less important to me than my mental health.
Screw forgiveness. Screw second chances. Screw people who think they can screw me over without any consequences.
If someone is okay with hurting me, then they better be okay living with living without me.