I’m Not Going To Hang Out With You At The Last Second

Do not text me at the last second, asking me to come over. It makes it seem like I am your backup plan. It makes it seem like you only contacted me because you were bored and lonely and had no one else to fill the silence.

I am not interested in being your second choice. I am not going to sign up for a relationship where I am an afterthought.

Besides, setting plans at the last second annoys the hell out of me. It is not my style. If you want to hang out with me, make plans with me earlier in the week. Or at least earlier in the day.

If you have your heart set on hanging out with me, then giving me advanced notice shouldn’t be too hard.

In theory, the idea of someone picking me up at two in the morning for an unexpected road trip sounds romantic. In reality, I am not spontaneous. I am not the kind of person who goes with the flow. I am not going to be happy if you show up at my front door without a warning.

That probably makes me sound boring, like an old soul, like an old lady, but I cannot change the way I feel.

I am a planner. I like to figure out how I am going to spend my evenings ahead of time. I am not a fan of surprises. I am not a fan of last minute changes.

No matter how strong my feelings are for you, I am not going to change my plans for you — even if my only plans for the night are snuggling with my dog and reading a good book.

If you want to hang out with me, you need to text me and schedule a time to see me instead of asking what I am doing right now. 

If you ask me to hang out at the last second, you are going to get a no. I need hours to get myself ready. I do not sit around the house in full hair and makeup, ready to leave at a moment’s notice.

When you text me at the last moment, you must not realize I need time to shower and shave. I need time to figure out what I’m wearing. I need time to get myself in the mindset to socialize. Getting ready is a process for me.

I hate turning people down when I would love to spend time with them — but I wish they would respect my time more.

I wish they would understand I am not the kind of person who is excited about leaving the house on a whim. I need a head’s up. I need more than a ten minute notice.

It sucks to keep turning down plans, but if you do not like me enough to make plans with me ahead of time, then you do not deserve my attention anyway. I can wait for someone who understands the way my anxious mind works.