Puppy love is fresh, new, exciting. It is the love between two people who are first getting to know each other, who are humming with chemistry, who are thrilled about what they might learn about each other in the future.
As exciting as puppy love feels during the first few weeks, I would rather have newlywed love, the kind of love between best friends, not strangers.
I want someone to know all of my worst habits, all of my darkest secrets, and love me anyway. I want them to kiss me with a face mask on. I want them to hug me with wet hair. I want them to initiate sex even though I am wearing my least flattering pajama set. I want my person to look at me like I am perfect in their eyes even though they have had front-row seats to my meltdowns. I want them to know the real, unfiltered me and still love me with their whole heart.
I want to fall in love with someone who is there with me on my worst days. The days when eyeliner tracks down my cheeks because of how hard the tears are falling. The days when my throat scratches from screaming about how shitty my week has been. The days when my strength wavers and my broken side shows.
I want someone to love me, even though they have been on my bad side before, even though they have argued with me, even though they have been annoyed with me, even though they have dealt with my silent treatments and fake I’m fines.
I want someone who realizes a relationship is more complex than fireworks and first kisses. Serious relationships are about getting to see the deepest pieces of someone and staying put even though you aren’t always comfortable with what you find. Serious relationships are about loving someone despite their baggage, despite their insecurities, despite all of the little reasons they dislike themselves.
I want someone who realizes I am not as put together as I appear. I am secretly a mess. I have my share of issues. I have bad habits to work on breaking. I have personality traits that need altering. I want someone who knows all that and does not give a damn. I want someone who sees through the masks I wear in front of the rest of the world because they know me better than anyone else.
I do not want someone who likes the perfect version of me that exists inside of their mind. I want someone who loves the real me, even though I am imperfect, even though I have a lot more growing to do.
I am not interested in puppy love because it never lasts long. The sparks fade away fast. The spell is broken as soon as a rough day arrives, as soon as a misunderstanding occurs, as soon as reality hits.
I am more interested in newlywed love, a love with potential, a love with significance, a love with promises to last a lifetime.