I left you, wanting revenge. I hoped watching me walk away would hurt you. I hoped you would feel the same intensity of pain you brought me.
I wanted you to suffer through your days and have insomniac nights. I wanted you to miss me. I wanted to be the reason why you cried.
But now, after my pulse has calmed, after distance has stretched between us, I hope losing me will teach you another kind of lesson. I hope it will teach you to change your ways. I hope it will encourage you to listen more, to apologize more, to forgive more. I hope it will be the motivation you need to change the course of your life.
Even though happiness is the last thing you deserve after what you put me through, even though you need to realize your actions have consequences, I hope losing me will soften your heart, because no one else deserves to be hurt by you. No one else deserves that same level of betrayal.
I hope losing me puts your behavior into perspective. I hope it helps you look in the mirror and see your flaws clearly. I hope it brings you to the realization you cannot continue living the way you have been, you cannot continue treating others like toys, you cannot continue treating yourself like a corpse.
I hope losing me — someone who gave you unlimited chances and only abandoned you when I was left with no other choice — shows you how bad you have become. I hope it gives you incentive to switch your life around, because if you keep acting the way you have been acting, then you are going to end up miserable. More miserable than you already are.
I hope losing me reminds you how you are supposed to treat another person — especially a person you claim to love. I hope it makes you take a good, long look at your past and realize where you went wrong. I hope it makes you want to work on your negative traits. I hope it makes you want to fix your bad habits. I hope it makes you want to become a better person.
I hope losing me was a learning experience for you. I hope you come to a realization about what kind of person you want to be known as by your friends and family members. I hope you rearrange your morals and resort your priorities. I hope you whip yourself into shape. I hope you put me through all of that pain for something.
In the beginning, my only hope was that losing me destroyed you. I wanted it to tear you apart. I wanted it to make you feel like the biggest piece of crap on the planet. But now, I hope it revives you. I hope it provides the push you needed to change your ways. I hope you become better because I cannot even begin to imagine what it would look like if you grew worse.