Some people say, “Your soulmate is your other half. Your missing puzzle piece.”
Other people say, “You should not look for a partner to complete you. You should already be whole without them.”
I am slowly learning neither of those statements are entirely true. No one is ever fully complete. We are all a work in progress. We are constantly evolving, eternally shaping ourselves into different, more enhanced versions of ourselves.
You should not confuse true love with wholeness. You can be in a relationship with your soulmate and still feel an itch, like something is missing from your universe.
Even if you are already happy ninety-nine percent of the time, you can still wonder whether there is something more, something greater.
A soulmate will not magically make sense of the world. They will not take away your fears and doubts about your purpose here. They might encourage you to pursue your passions, they might give you a newfound confidence about your sense of self, but they will not be able to erase your existential questions. They will not be able to cure all of life’s biggest ailments.
I am slowly learning soulmates are not about completion. They are about commitment, cohabitation, and complexity. They are about finding someone who understands the unique way the gears in your mind tick.
I am slowly learning a soulmate will never make you feel complete — but they can make you feel safe and loved and valuable and secure. They can make you feel at home.
Your soulmate is someone who can see where you are coming from. They can listen to your jumble of words and get what you are trying to say when you are having trouble forming the thought. They can grasp your ideas. They can stir your inspiration.
Your soulmate will make you feel understood for the first time in your life. They will make you feel like you are exactly where you belong. But they will not be able to do more than that.
They will not be able to grant you uninterrupted peace. They will not be able to take away every ounce of pain and suffering. They will not be able to take your broken pieces and turn them whole again. And that is okay.
I am slowly learning there is no such thing as a complete human being. Even once we find happiness, we can only enjoy it for a little while before we begin to strive for something greater.
That sounds like a dangerous thing, but it is actually a healthy thing. If we stopped searching, stopped expanding, stopped growing into bigger and better versions of us, then we would have no reason to continue on living.
Life is about more than discovery. It is about the hunt. It is about learning more and more about ourselves — but the learning is never finished. You will never know exactly who you are because that person is shifting every single day.
You are never going to reach completion — because completion means finished. It means the end. And it is never the end.