It’s Easier To Love Someone Else Than To Love Yourself

It's Easier To Love Someone Else Than To Love Yourself
Unsplash / Ian Dooley

Why do you keep falling for bad boys? Why do you keep getting into one-sided relationships with the most toxic people you can find? Why are you able to love someone who is so flawed, so damaged, so completely and utterly broken — but are unable to love yourself for those same reasons?

You are a hypocrite. You have fallen for people with dark histories. People who have made more than their share of mistakes. People who are self-destructive, self-obsessed, and convinced they do not deserve love. But you loved them anyway. Their flaws did not matter to you. You looked past the bad parts to see the good. So why can’t you do that with yourself?

You have been in awful relationships. Toxic ones. You have loved certain people, even though they said mean things about you. You loved them, even though they brought you stress. You loved them, even though you saw the worst sides of them. If you were able to love someone who treated you so poorly, then it should not matter that you currently treat yourself poorly, because you can end up loving yourself the same way you loved them.

Instead of rushing into another relationship with the wrong person, focus on fixing your relationship with yourself. That is the most toxic relationship of all. That is the one you should be worried about right now.

Even though you might be good at faking confidence in crowds, you treat yourself horribly when you are alone. You call yourself ugly and untalented and worthless. You don’t always take good care of your body and you rarely take care of your mental health. You have placed yourself at the bottom of your list of priorities. And that needs to end. But it is not going to be easy to change such a poisonous mindset.

It is so much easier to love someone else than it is to love yourself. It is easier to forgive them for their flaws than to accept your own. It is easier to give compliments to them than to give those same compliments to the mirror.

You keep placing your love into flawed individuals because you want to distract yourself from your own issues. You would rather complain about how badly they treat you than take a step back and look at how badly you have been treating yourself. Or maybe a part of you likes being torn apart by them because you do the same thing to yourself every single day. You are comfortable with the pain, you believe you deserve it.

But that is far from the truth. You deserve so much more than the toxicity you have been allowing to run rampant in your life.

You can see how unhealthy it is you keep falling for bad boys because you know there are better, healthier relationships out there. So why can’t you see how unhealthy your relationship is with yourself? Why have you sworn to raise your standards when it comes to love but not when it comes to self-love? TC mark

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