I Am Slowly Learning To Find More Things That Excite Me

I am slowly learning how harmful it is to look forward to the weekend while dreading Monday through Thursday. I don’t want to waste over fifty percent of my life. I don’t want to be miserable throughout the entire week and have such high expectations for the weekend that I end up disappointed when my friends are unable to hang out or Saturday night plans fall through.

I am slowly learning to find more things that excite me over the course of the week. Even though there are unavoidable moments where I am forced to work on a difficult project or finish laundry or interact with people who make me feel anxious, I am making sure there is also something for me to look forward to every single day — even if it’s small. Even if it might seem stupid to everyone else.

Maybe Mondays are the day when I will let myself splurge on egg sandwiches or chocolate chip pancakes. Maybe Tuesdays are the day when I will spend an extra few dollars on coffee from Starbucks instead of the dollar deal from McDonalds. Maybe Wednesdays are the day when I will catch up on my favorite show or give myself a few hours of gaming time.

Sometimes the smallest things are what make a day better. Sometimes the littlest changes can make my mood significantly better.

I am slowly learning to organize my days so there is a gem hidden inside each one. I am slowly learning to reward myself with treats over the course of the week to keep my morale high. I am slowly learning to look forward to tomorrow — even if tomorrow is a Monday.

I am slowly learning how toxic my thinking used to be back when I walked around hating my life. I do not want complaining to remain a habit of mine. I do not want to hit snooze every morning because there is nothing for me to look forward to doing. I do not want to wait until the weekends to feel alive, to experience pure happiness.

I deserve to smile throughout the week. I deserve unending peace.

I am slowly learning to stop acting like the beginning of the week is the worst part of the week. I am slowly learning to appreciate the in between moments I used to take for granted — the text conversations with friends, the YouTube videos that make me laugh, the walks with my dog, the wine and the fries.

I am not going to dread Mondays anymore. I am not going to count down the days until the weekend — or until major holidays like Halloween and Christmas anymore — because those are not the only days that matter. The days leading up to them are important too. They can be special too.

I am slowly learning how to make myself happy, even on days when my schedule is filled and there is little time to relax. I am slowly learning the difference between what makes my heart sore and what makes my heart soar.