I am sick of feeling like I need to tiptoe around everyone else when they are perfectly fine stomping all over me. I am tired of apologizing to people who should really be apologizing to me.
I am not going to shrink myself into a corner anymore. I am not going to bite my tongue to keep the mood light. I am not going to pretend I am okay when the voice in my head is shouting at me to say something. I am not going to be the chill one, the happy-go-lucky one, the one who always wears a smile and never gets angry about anything. I have a right to be angry. I have a right to be furious.
My emotions should not be discarded. They should be heard. They should be respected.
Moving forward, I am not going to keep quiet when someone offends me in order to avoid offending them back. I am not going to let it slide when someone hurts me to come across as cool. I am not going to let someone get away with murder in order to avoid conflict. Those days are behind me.
I don’t care about coming across as impolite anymore because my purpose is not to make the lives of others easier. I should not force myself to walk on eggshells around immature, ignorant people who do not deserve such kindness.
Even though I have spent a lifetime worrying more about the happiness of the people surrounding me than my own happiness, even though the only thing I want is to blend in and be accepted, I should never hold myself back from fighting for what I believe is right.
I am not interested in drama. I do not want to cause a scene. I do not want to ruin friendships. I do not want to ruin fun nights out. But when the time comes for me to speak my mind, I am not going to let the moment pass me by. I am not going to stand in the background and watch someone disrespect me or my values or my community.
Even though raising my voice can be scary, I am no longer worried about whether I will be considered a moody bitch. I have a right to add to the conversation. I am allowed to speak up when someone crosses a boundary.
I am not going to keep quiet to make you more comfortable. I am not going to refrain from calling you out because it might turn the conversation awkward. Either way, the situation is already uncomfortable for me — so why should I worry about your feelings when you have already hurt mine? Why should I be careful about how I react to you when you clearly haven’t minded the way you have been acting around me?
I am tired of keeping my lips smashed together while my heart is screaming for justice. I am sick of letting others get away with their bullshit. It’s time for that to end.