Stop calling yourself unlovable. Stop assuming you are too screwed up to find love. Stop using your baggage as an excuse to keep yourself in a bubble instead of putting yourself out there.
Yes, you have baggage. Yes, you are screwed up. But everyone is.
Everyone has their own set of abandonment issues or trust issues or commitment issues they are working through. Everyone has been hurt before, whether it was by a toxic parent or ex-fiance or ex-almost. Everyone has their own doubts about finding love.
You are not the only person who feels fucked up. You are not the only one who has been single for such a long stretch of time, or has been through such a bad string of relationships, that you have started to wonder whether you are meant to be alone. You are not the only one who thinks they are too sensitive or too self-conscious or too bossy to find someone who will want to settle down with them.
You have to stop letting your past rejections, your breakups, and your self-doubt get you down. Yes, you might be fucked up after everything you have been through, but you are going to find someone else who is fucked up and you are going to grow together. You are going to unload your baggage together. You are going to figure out how to make a relationship work together.
There are going to be times when you feel like you are annoying them and you have to get the fuck over that. And there are going to be times when they feel like they are holding you back and they have to get the fuck over that. But once you find the right person, you can help each other get the fuck over those things. You can work as a team. You can show them they are worthy of love and they can return the favor.
When you find the right person, your broken pieces will fit together in all the right ways. You will feel comfortable together. You will feel like you can show them every side of you, even the sides you usually hide out of embarrassment.
Of course, that does not mean a relationship is going to be easy. Finding your forever person does not mean you are going to have a smooth ride together. There will be arguments. There will be insecurities. You will not magically feel fixed once you find the love of your life — but that’s okay because they won’t expect you to be perfect.
The right person for you will not be under the impression you are flawless. They will know the real, raw, fucked up you. And they will love it. They will love you, even though you have baggage. They will love you, even though you swore your flaws made you unlovable.
Neither your past, your fears, or your insecurities will make them run in the other direction. They will stick by your side and work through your issues with you because they know you are going to do the same with them. They don’t mind that you are fucked up — because they are fucked up in their own way.