These days, it’s hard to find a boy who will text back without making you wait three hours (or three days). It’s hard to find someone who will keep a conversation going instead of sending short replies and letting the conversation fade away.
When you find a boy who texts you back within minutes, a boy who sends you good morning texts before your alarm wakes you and never leaves you waiting, then you will feel like you have hit the jackpot. You will feel like you have finally found someone worthwhile, someone who respects your time, someone who is willing to put effort into your relationship.
However, you have to remember that there is more to a relationship than being a good texter. Answering you back every time is definitely a plus, but it doesn’t mean he is your knight in shining armor. It doesn’t mean he is your forever.
Keep your standards high. Do not get overexcited about someone because they are actually acknowledging your existence instead of ignoring you for weeks at a time like the other boys you have liked in the past.
You have been in so many toxic relationships and almost relationships that you have forgotten what a healthy relationship looks like. You are expecting the absolute minimum so when someone puts in a small amount of effort you feel like they are treating you like a queen. You are overvaluing their actions because they are killing the game compared to everyone else.
It sucks that you have grown so accustomed to being ghosted, led on, and ignored that you are excited about someone actually texting you back after you send the first message.
Yes, you are allowed to be excited about little things. Yes, it’s nice of him to text you back quickly. Yes, you deserve someone who makes you feel seen. But you also deserve someone who stays loyal, introduces you to his parents, labels you as his girlfriend, invites you over for holiday dinners, surprises you with fast food, helps with chores, gives you what you need in the bedroom, and appreciates everything you do for him in return.
Texting is not enough. You deserve someone who sets aside face-to-face time with you. Someone who wants to talk to you in person, not only over a phone.
You cannot decide someone is the love of your life simply because they have been replying to your texts. Everyone should be doing that. It’s fucked up that you are not used to that happening.
Finding someone who texts you back is a start — but that is not the only thing you need from him. That does not automatically make him boyfriend material. Do not set the bar that low. Have higher expectations for the person you are considering spending the rest of your life alongside.
You cannot allow yourself to settle for the first person who gives you attention. You should expect more from boys than a quick text back. Expect more from relationships than the minimum because you deserve the maximum.