Why Do You Treat Me Like Your Second Choice?

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Why do you send mixed signals that make it hard to tell whether you like me back or are only stringing me along?

Why do you place me toward the bottom of your list of priorities when you are at the top of mine?

Why do you take days to answer my texts when I answer yours in seconds?

Why do you flirt with me and then turn around and flirt with other girls?

Why do you cancel plans with me when you can tell how excited I am to see you?

Why do you take so much from me without giving anything in return?

Why do you talk about how much you miss me and then turn down every opportunity you have to see me?

Why do you make me feel so insecure when I am always giving you ego boosts?

Why do you like my photos and ignore my texts?

Why do you treat me like your second choice when we get along so well, when our chemistry is so strong, when we would make such a good couple? Why don’t you appreciate everything I have done for you? Why haven’t you asked me to be your girlfriend yet?

I keep asking myself these questions — but I have to stop. I have to stop thinking about you. I have to stop chasing after you. I have to stop  caring more about your happiness than my own.

The better questions I should be asking myself are:

Why do I spend so long overanalyzing your texts when you barely spare a second to glance at mine?

Why do I keep making plans with you when you never follow through on them?

Why do I spend hours dressing to look good for you when you stare at your phone more than you stare at me?

Why do I let you get away with dropping off the face of the planet for weeks and acting like everything is normal between us?

Why do I text you first when I know I am not going to get an answer?

Why do I keep running after you even though you have proven you do not deserve a second of my time, let alone all of it?

Why do I believe your lies? Why do I trust you? Why do I have hope you are going to treat me any differently in the future than you have been treating me lately? 

Why am I this attracted to someone who makes me feel like shit? Why would I want to date someone like you? Why would I lower my standards so drastically? What makes you someone worthy of my love?

How much longer am I going to let you hurt me? When am I going to come to my senses and realize I deserve so much more than the half-ass effort you have been giving me? When am I going to move on? When am I going to find the strength to walk away from you?