I am slowly learning to stop feeling sorry for myself. I should not freak out when my friends are too busy to see me. I should not cry when my calendar is completely empty. I should not feel like I am alone in the world after spending one weekend alone.
There is nothing wrong with me time. I should not feel like I am missing out every night spent at home instead of drinking at bars or gobbling pizza on a friend’s couch. I should not mope around my house, miserable, whenever the rest of the world sets plans without me. I should not feel like others are purposely leaving me out. I should not feel like their exciting pictures and stories were posted to make me feel worse about myself.
My friends are allowed to have other friends. They are allowed to have careers that keep them busy. They are allowed to have a life outside of our friendship.
I am slowly learning to accept there are going to be days when nothing exciting happens, when there isn’t an opportunity to leave the house and have fun, and those days are important, too. They could lead to my growth. They could help me rediscover myself.
The more I know about myself, the easier it will be for me to pinpoint what is bothering me and work on changing it. The more I know myself, the easier it will be for me to choose goals and chase after them.
I am slowly learning to slow down and feel more comfortable in silence instead of scrambling to fill the silence. I am realizing the importance of self-awareness and self-discovery. I am fighting to love myself more than yesterday because my insecurities are what bring out my jealousy and FOMO.
I am slowly learning to enjoy my alone time instead of dreading the moments when the world goes quiet and I am left alone with my thoughts. I am excited to get to know myself better. I am hopeful the days spent alone will help develop my character and teach me what I want the most from my future.
I am slowly learning how to make my own happiness instead of relying on someone else to cause my happiness. I am finding ways to have a good time when no one else is around, when there is no one to keep me company except for my own imagination.
Even though being alone can be scary, it’s nice to sit down and read a book without anyone around to interrupt me. It’s nice to take a bath with a glass of wine and listen to the music I like instead of letting someone else choose the song. It’s nice to have moments that only belong to me.
I am slowly learning to enjoy the days when there is nothing better to do than sit on the couch and think. I am slowly learning alone time can be most eye-opening time.