I am slowly learning to walk away from lazy love because relationships require effort.
You cannot grow lazy after dating someone for months, years, decades. You cannot slip into an unchangeable routine. You cannot allow the passion to fade away completely.
Relationships are never going to look the same five years down the line as they did in the beginning, but that does not mean you are allowed to take your person for granted. You are not allowed to come home and ignore them. You are not allowed to make them feel like you keep them around out of custom instead of out of love.
I am slowly learning lazy love is a recipe for disaster. It breeds resentment. It creates insecurities.
When love becomes lazy, you will begin to question what you mean to the other person. You will wonder whether their feelings for you have dimmed over time. You will wonder whether they would be happier somewhere else and whether they are ever going to take steps to find somebody else.
Lazy love is comfortable — but comfort is not always a good thing. Too much comfort leads to stagnation. However, a relationship should constantly be taking baby steps forward long after the milestones of marriage and moving in together are complete.
I am slowly learning couples who have been together for a long time do not need to stop holding hands from across the couch and kissing foreheads when they return from work. They do not need to stop sharing forkfuls of food at the dinner table and flirting through texts.
Everyone who belongs to a couple — even the ones who have been together through thick and thin, who know deep in their heart their person is not going anywhere — deserve affection. They deserve reassurance. They deserve to feel like they aren’t in any danger of being abandoned or neglected.
I am slowly learning lazy love is unacceptable. I am not going to allow someone to completely change their attitude after they start dating me because they feel like the bar has been lowered. I am not going to accept the cold shoulder and unanswered messages simply because the relationship isn’t fresh anymore. I am not going to use excuses about how every relationship becomes stale after a while and how no one ever acts the same as they did when they were in puppy love.
I am going to hold myself and my person to a higher standard. I am going to make my relationships last by putting effort into them long after our first kiss. I am going to express my love every single day in a million different ways. I am going to make sure my person knows how much they mean to me because there is no reason they should doubt my feelings for a minute.
I am not going to let my love become lazy. I am not going to stop treating my person with affection just because I can get away with it.