Chasing You Makes Me Feel Even More Insecure

Chasing You Makes Me Feel Even More Insecure
Unsplash / Alina Kovalchuk

You might think it takes confidence to send the first text and click like on your photos and compliment you straight to your face — but chasing after you actually makes me feel more insecure.

It hurts every time you take hours to answer my messages. It hurts every time you scroll pass my photographs without giving them any attention. It hurts every time you fail to compliment me back even though I purposely dressed nice to impress you.

Chasing you makes me feel insecure because it is a never-ending adventure. I’m not sure whether my plan has been working. I cannot tell whether I am making any progress with you. There are moments when I swear you like me back and then moments when you act more distant than ever before. I have a hard time getting a read on you.

Chasing you makes me feel insecure because there must be someone else you’re interested in dating. Otherwise, you would be flattered by how much attention I have been giving you. You wouldn’t be taking my kindness for granted. You would be lapping it up. You would be excited someone likes you enough to go through so much trouble for you.

Chasing you makes me feel insecure because the energy I have been putting into our relationship never matches the results. I might get a few texts back from you but then you’ll go MIA. I might get to spend a night with you but then we won’t see each other again for weeks. I have been giving you everything you could possibly want but you haven’t given me the only thing I want. You still haven’t turned around and asked me out.

Chasing you makes me feel insecure because it means I am the one who cares more. It means I am the one interested in starting a relationship. It means you are the one who has an easier time waiting for texts and going days without having a conversation, which is irrelevant because I answer you as soon as possible. You never have to wait. That job is up to me.

Chasing you makes me feel insecure because you are the only one getting their ego boosted. You never return the favor. You never surprise me with good morning texts wishing me luck at work. You never ask me questions like the ones I ask you. There is a significant difference in the way you are treated and the way you treat me in return.

Chasing you makes me feel insecure because I cannot tell whether I am wasting my time. All of this effort could have been useless. You might not have any desire to date me, even though I have bent over backwards to become someone worthy of your love. Maybe this has all been for nothing. Maybe we are never going to get together. Maybe the timing isn’t right or maybe the person isn’t right.

Chasing you makes me feel insecure, which is why I have to put an end to the running. I am done trying to make you mine. I cannot be the only one exerting effort anymore. It hurts too much. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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