13 Things I Learned After Getting Ghosted

1. Spending hours scrolling through old messages and trying to pinpoint the moment where things went wrong is a waste of time and a source of unnecessary stress. When someone ghosts you, you are not going to get answers. You are not going to get closure. You have to learn to accept that or you will drive yourself crazy.

2. When someone ghosts you, they might not disappear completely. They might still like your photos and send you snaps. You cannot get your hopes up when that happens. You cannot settle for someone who interacts with you over social media but refuses to send a text back.

3. Getting ghosted says so much more about this other person than it says about you. Think about how cowardly they are, how rude, how immature, how inconsiderate. A person who ghosts you is not a person you would want to date anyway.

4. When this person leaves, let them. You should not chase after them. You should not want someone who does not want you.

5. Sending a text back is not that difficult. If they are not willing to put in the effort to send a message — the minimal amount of effort they could possibly give you — then they are never going to put in the effort required to be a good boyfriend.

6. You are allowed to be upset about him abandoning you out of the blue even if you weren’t officially a couple. You can love someone you never dated. You can have your heart broken by someone you were only texting.

7. Do not blame yourself. They might have ghosted for a reason that has nothing to do with you. They might have been texting you behind their girlfriend’s back and got caught. They might have realized they aren’t ready for a relationship and backed off. They might be working through their own issues you know nothing about.

8. You should not feel like an idiot. There was no way of telling they were going to hurt you. You should be proud of yourself for putting yourself out there and letting yourself feel, not embarrassed about it.

9. If they randomly start texting you again after going MIA for months, do not let them slide back into your life. Do not believe their excuses. You are allowed to decide you deserve better than someone who can spend weeks without you.

10. You are too beautiful to be crying over someone with a personality this ugly.

11. There are going to be times when you are tempted to text them, but you should resist your urges. You should not have to beg them for attention. They should be excited about having a conversation with you, not roped into one.

12. You can confront them about stringing you along if it makes you feel better, but most of the time it is better to delete their number. Instead of getting revenge by cursing them out, get revenge by living your best life without them.

13. You are worthy of a text back. You are worthy of a real, committed relationship. You are worthy of more than what this person put you through so leave them in the past and work on finding someone who meets your standards in the future.