1. You will lose her by trying to take control of her. You cannot order her around. You have to respect her independence. You have to allow her to make her own decisions because she is not going to blindly listen to everything you say.
2. You will lose her by expecting too much from her. She is not going to spend every hour of the day with you. She has a career she is passionate about pursuing. She has friends she does not want to desert. There are going to be nights where you are left alone and you have to be accepting of that.
3. You will lose her by acting immature. She is a grownup looking to date another grownup. That means she expects you to take responsibility for your actions. If you make excuses whenever you are wrong, if you lie to get out of bad situations, if you cannot have adult conversations, then she is going to look for someone a little more mature.
4. You will lose her by refusing to grow. She is constantly trying to become a better person. If you don’t have any dreams or ambitions, if you allow laziness to take over and get too comfortable in one space, then she is going to outgrow you.
5. You will lose her by doubting her. Holding her back is not going to end well for you. She cares more about her career than her love life, which means she will leave if you ask her to quit her job or stop working weekends for you. She needs someone who will support her dreams, not discourage her from following them.
6. You will lose her by expecting her to take care of everything. She is not going to solve all of your problems. She is not going to perform all your chores. She will help you through your tough days, she will be the rock you can lean on, but she is not going to do every little thing for you.
7. You will lose her by enforcing gender roles. If allowing her to pay for dinners and work nine to five makes you feel like less of a man, you are in the wrong relationship. She is not going to pretend she cannot pay for her own meals or open her own car door in order to inflate your ego.
8. You will lose her by overvaluing her looks. She will appreciate compliments about her appearance, but she will not be flattered if that is the only thing you like about her. She wants you to value her brain, too. She wants you to be impressed by her personality, not just her looks.
9. You will lose her by making assumptions Do not be fooled by her strength. She is also sensitive. She has a soft heart. If you assume she is always fine, no matter what she has been going through lately, you don’t know her very well. You have to check in on her once in a while. You cannot let her be the one taking care of you all the time. Sometimes, you have to take care of her.
10. You will lose her by becoming someone else. She is not going to let your bad behavior slide because she loves you. If you stop treating her with kindness because you have been together for a while and are starting to become overly comfortable, she is going to notice and she is not going to be happy. Even though she has committed to you, she will still leave if you start acting shady, so treat her right.