It doesn’t matter whether you seem put together. It doesn’t matter whether you consider yourself strong.
Sometimes, you are going to break apart. You are going to see something that makes your heart drop, something small, something that shouldn’t even bother you in the first place, and you are going to snap.
Other people will look at you like you’re crazy, they will tell you there is no reason to be upset over something so small, but that’s only because they don’t understand.
They don’t realize this one little thing isn’t the main problem. It’s all of the things that have led up to it. It’s all of the bullshit you have been through lately.
You haven’t said a thing for so long. You have been strong for so long. And you cannot keep doing it anymore. You need a release. You need to scream. You need to cry. You need to act like a bitch. You need to let yourself feel because you have been holding everything inside and it’s been eating you alive.
Sometimes, you are going to break down at the worst possible time. You are going to embarrass yourself in front of other people by crying your eyes out or getting into an argument that could have been avoided. You are going to lose control of yourself for just a second, just a minute, because you cannot keep it together for any longer.
When that happens, you cannot blame yourself. You cannot fault yourself for being human. Everyone has a breaking point. Reaching it does not make you weak. It means you are finally allowing yourself to be vulnerable, you are finally giving yourself permission to be real instead of continuing your game of make believe.
Sometimes, you are going to cry yourself to sleep. You are going to struggle to leave your bed in the morning. You are going to wonder whether there is something wrong with you for acting like such a hot mess when it seems like everyone around you has their lives together.
Even though it’s easy to feel like a failure, you cannot compare yourself to them, because they are falling apart behind the scenes as well. They are not unbreakable. They are not any better than you. You just don’t see them at their weak points because they hide it well. They play pretend the way you have been trying to do.
No matter who you are, no matter how amazing your life seems from the outside, you are going to break apart eventually. You are going to have a hard time moving forward. You are going to toss a blanket over your head and wish the world would vanish.
You are going to have difficult days — but that does not mean you are never going to experience happiness again. You will. You will make it back from this. You will stand up again. You will be okay again.
And when that day arrives, you will be happy that you never lost faith in yourself.